When Is He Going to Learn to Advocate for Himself?
Dylan’s teacher emailed me:
“Over the weekend Dylan was asked to type up a reflection on the Linear Functions Project (which was well done). This reflection is for his portfolio…” The email then describes the details that the “reflection” should encompass.
Hm, I thought. We had a three-day weekend AND a snow day! That’s four days that Dylan could have used to finish this reflection.
So when Dylan got home from school, I handed him the email.
“I told her that you would have it done by tomorrow,” I told him, “since it was due today.”
“We didn’t have class today,” Dylan said.
“I don’t care if you had class today,” I said, cutting him off. “If she told you to write it this past weekend, it should have been done by today.”
“I don’t recall her saying I had to write anything this weekend,” he said, cutting me off, too.
“Whether or not you recall it is irrelevant,” I said. “You need to do it.”
“I was going to do it,” he said, his voice raising. “But you are on the computer and I have to go to the bathroom!”
He stormed off.
“God!” he said, slamming the bathroom door.
All I did was relay the message that his teacher sent to me, knowing that Dylan would not remember – again – without my help. I will not get this kind of email from the teachers next year – and Dylan will be entirely on his own. As it is, he is on his own – but his teachers are being lenient.
The lenience is one reason I wanted him to go to a private school. The personal attention is another reason I wanted him to go to a private school. And now that he’s heading for public school, I’m starting to panic.
WHEN, oh WHEN, is he going to learn to advocate for HIMSELF?!?
All the ADHD support groups, websites and email lists say the same thing: “Middle school is too early.”
Obviously, college is too late.
So next year, it’s sink or swim. And I fully expect that he will swim, because he is not the kind of kid who promises to drown. Someone has to believe he can do it, whether he does – or not.