Jack Annoyed a Lot of People.
Having a kid with ADHD is hard.
When Dylan was in third grade, there was this boy named Jack in his grade. His class was across the hall from Dylan’s, but everyone knew Jack. He was loud and obnoxious and absolutely brilliant. He was funny and clever and incredibly annoying. There never seemed to be an “off” button with Jack. He moved constantly.
In other words, he was a lot like Dylan. I just didn’t know what ADHD was, then, and Dylan hadn’t been diagnosed yet.
One time, Jack was standing over a much smaller boy, his arm stretched toward the sky. Jack had stolen the kid’s toy and was holding it up as high as he could, away from the smaller child. Jack wasn’t saying anything – but sure wasn’t giving back the toy, either.
I walked over to Jack and said, “If you had a toy, and a much larger person took it and wouldn’t give it back, how would you feel?”
Jack just stared at me for a moment. Then he gave the kid his toy.
The much littler boy was my son, Shane. So I remember the moment well.
And I remember Jack well, because I’d been so annoyed by him. And the following year, Dylan was diagnosed.
Jack annoyed a lot of people with his over-the-top energy. So they gave Jack a job after school. He went around the school and monitored the school’s electricity consumption. During school, he was a challenge. After school, he was as responsible as any adult.
Jack moved at the end of third grade, so I don’t know what became of him. But I have watched Dylan go from wonderful and as responsible as any adult … to almost toddler-like in his sulking and attention-getting behaviors.
I just got the following email from his teacher:
“(Dylan) was asked to leave the stage yesterday after yelling at the top of his lungs while running across the stage, ‘Let’s go kill a lot of people.’ The line is ‘Let’s go kick some Hunny-Buns.’…”
My first thought was, Well, if my son ends up like the Columbine shooter, I can say that I was properly warned.
But at home, Dylan deviates between loud and silly (mostly with Shane) and completely docile. Most of the time, he communicates with his parents like a young, mature adult. When he works on things, or when he has a real responsibility, like he does at church, he rises to the occasion beautifully. He talks to us about his feelings. He lets us know when something is bothering him.
And something is often bothering him.
So the behavior at school might just be a cry for help. Or it might be just a way to see how far he can push the envelope at his private school.
Whatever it is, the behavior has to stop.