Brilliant … But Bouncy

What Would Bill Do?

Today is Bill’s birthday.

Bill is a good husband. Not only does he work hard, pay the bills, and fix things around the house, but he constantly strives to make me happy. Both the fixing and the striving, however, make me absolutely crazy. On most days, I just want him to relax and worry about himself, instead of working 24/7 to make everyone else happy.

But he is a decent man and a good provider, and he’s both funny and incredibly smart. The fact that he drives me bonkers isn’t surprising – because I am generally unsatisfied with everything, all the time. Almost anyone can drive me bonkers.

Luckily, I am not my children’s only role model.

While Bill is a good husband, he is a great father. He has three wonderful boys, and they all know that they can turn to him if they need anything. Sometimes they need something simple, like a new battery for a toy. Other times they need something more substantial, like advice on navigating relationships. Somehow, Bill always responds in a level-headed manner. He answers questions in ways that make sense.

I think this stems from the fact that Bill is a truly moral human being. Most people recognize this as soon as they meet Bill. It’s easy for me to overlook when he leaves his cup on the counter or his shoes on the living room floor – but it is obvious to me when I reflect, and it is always apparent to his family and friends.

One of the reasons I love Bill – and certainly one of the biggest reasons I am glad that he fathered my children – is because of his moral decency. He works hard to make the world a better place, starting with the way he treats other people. Bill is the strongest proponent of the Golden Rule I have ever known. And as such, he is a spectacular role model for his children and everyone around him.

Sometimes I find myself saying, “What would Bill do?” Then, when I imitate my husband, I find that I get better results than if I had followed my own, more limited instincts.

Bill and I have our issues, as all couples do, and he definitely drives me crazy. He’s 100% ADHD, and I am fairly certain that Bill also has a vision processing disorder. Both of my kids’ issues can be attributed to my husband’s genes, although he’s never been diagnosed with anything. And it’s terribly challenging dealing with an adult with ADHD who medicates himself only with coffee, and who doesn’t process things in any organized fashion. We argue way too much over very small things.

But the big things are what matters. And Bill’s heart is in the right place. His goodness is real.

So when someone comes to him – a stranger or a coworker or a cashier or one of his beloved children – when someone comes to Bill for help, he listens to the best of his ability. Then he responds calmly and rationally. And whatever solution Bill suggests will cause the other person to believe that they’ve come up with the solution on their own – even though it’s actually from the wisdom of Bill’s years of experience.

And today, we celebrate another year of that wisdom. Happy birthday, Bill.