Larry left his guitar in Pittsburgh, since it’s not an easy task to carry a guitar a thousand miles on a motorcycle, especially with hamsters residing in the tour pack.
I’m not sure either of us realized that what I loved most about Larry was his ability to sing.
When we got to Florida, the focus was entirely on his real identity: motorcyclist. He was thrilled to be in weather where he could ride every day of the year, where everyone he knew owned a motorcycle, and where all he had to do to was keep his motorcycle running.
I am guessing Joe and Dave were paying the mortgage, since Larry did not have to go to work anywhere.
This meant that he spent the vast majority of his days sitting next to his bike, which always required some kind of work. There were small metal things all around him on the ground, and his beer – unlike mine – grew warm in the sun. Sometimes his friends would stop over with their bikes, and they would all stand outside staring at them, talking about what they were going to do to fix them.
I didn’t recognize the lack of music as a problem in my life, but I knew I felt left out.
One day, bored out of my skull, I asked, “What am I supposed to do while you’re fixing your bike?”
“You can start fixing up your bike!” Larry beamed.
“My bike?”
“Yeah! The Triumph in the backyard is for you!”
“You got me a Triumph?” I asked, incredulous. Other than Harleys, the only brands of motorcycles accepted by the hard-core biker community were Indians (as though they were gold), BMWs, and Triumphs. The Triumphs were British, which I loved.
“Sure I did!” Larry said. I never questioned how or when Larry had purchased a Triumph motorcycle for me, here in Florida, while we were living in Pittsburgh. “C’mon I’ll show ya.”
We walked into the backyard, and there was my Triumph.
It was black with the little Triumph logo on the gas tank, sure enough!
But the bike had no tires. In fact, it had no wheels. The seat was torn and the loose stuffing was moldy. The frame held only part of an engine, but not the part that would make it go. The Triumph had no pipes, no lights, no speedometer, and what little was still attached was rusted beyond repair. It was like a horse with no legs, dying on the ground.
“I can’t ride that,” I said.
Larry laughed, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth like always. “Well not yet you can’t! But this can be your project. This’ll be a great fuckin’ bike when we get it up and runnin’!”
He rested a hand on the moldy seat, petting it like a stray puppy, dreaming of the day.
“When are ‘we’ gonna do that?”
“Real fuckin’ soon!” he said proudly. “And you can have your own bike!” He put his arm around me, squeezed me close, proud that someday his Ol’ Lady would be riding this piece of shit down the road.
If you’ve never slept on a waterbed, you might think it’s cool. But I truly believe that there are reasons beyond “imminent flooding” that made waterbeds disappear from popularity rather quickly.
First, special sheets are required for a waterbed. I’m not sure Larry knew this, and I certainly didn’t know. The sheets Larry had on the waterbed wouldn’t stay in one place on the bed, so when I moved, the sheets moved, too. By morning every day, the sheets would either be wrapped around someone’s leg or they would be on the floor. And sleeping on a waterbed without sheets meant sleeping on sticky, awful plastic – so that’s what we slept on after the sheets fell off.
In the morning, we would have to rebuild the mess back into some semblance of “bedding” or we’d have to rebuild it in the evening before we passed out. Either way, it was unpleasant.
Having sex on a waterbed was also impossible, for many of the same reasons. A waterbed has no solidity. There is no way to get traction. Any movement we made meant that I desperately sought some form of stability – which meant I often begged to be allowed to move to the floor. Waterbed sex might be glorious in movies, but in real life it’s miserable.
And there was nowhere else to have sex in that house since we had two roommates, one of whom lived on the couch.
As a result, for the first time in our young relationship, Larry and I had sex much less frequently in Florida.
Fortunately I was always, always drunk, so I was usually able to pass out in the bed. Staying asleep … well, that was something else entirely. I woke up every single time Larry moved, because the whole world shifted. It was not as pleasant as sleeping on a boat, or even on the sand when the tide came in. It was like sleeping directly on water.
Every. Movement. Caused More Movement.
It didn’t help, of course, that Larry had spent eight years in this bed with Suzy. But I was trying to forget that.
I wanted to be happy in Florida. I just couldn’t find a way to do that. Yet.
Pulling into Larry’s house on the Harley was not what I thought it would be.
I felt relief to get off the bike, and was glad to get the hamsters out of the tour pack finally, but I didn’t feel excited. In fact, seeing Larry’s ranch-style house in the dark made me kind of nauseous. I tried to forget my malicious behavior with regard to his ex, Suzy, but it was all I could think about.
This was his home, not mine.
I tried to be cavalier, hopping off the motorcycle and rescuing the hamsters, introducing them to their new abode.
I’d had visions of dancing around in the living room, sprawling naked on the sofa, sex on the table … but going inside was not what I thought it would be.
Instead there was Joe, sitting on the couch.
He barely glanced up from his magazine. “Oh hey, Larry,” he said in a low rasp. He looked at me. I was grizzled from the ride – but still a 21-year-old braless female in tight jeans and black boots.
Larry saw him looking.
“Hey Joe,” he said. “Kirsten, this is Joe.”
Joe was younger than Larry but older than me – tall and thin with wild eyes and tousled brown hair. He looked like he had either been sleeping all day or hadn’t slept in a week.
I glanced from Joe to Larry, although neither really noticed. Why was this man in our house?
“Joe lives here, sleeps on the couch,” Larry said without any further explanation.
Later I would learn that when Suzy found another place to live, she hadn’t bothered to rehome Joe … or their other roommate, Dave. So they were staying.
With us.
Dave was in his bedroom with the door closed; I didn’t meet him until the next day.
At least we have a door on the bathroom, I thought. I put the hamsters down on the table for Joe to observe, then I skipped into the bedroom – also with a door on it.
Okay, so it was a little bit exciting. Doors should never be taken for granted.
But the bedroom wasn’t what I thought it would be.
Larry had lived here with Suzy for years, so I still felt like an intruder. There was no furniture – just a double bed with a thin, flowery blanket. And when I threw my suitcase on the bed, it bounced right off, falling with a clunk onto the floor.
My jaw dropped.
Larry walked in behind me and saw it happen; he wrapped his arms around me and laughed.
“Didn’t I tell ya, Baby? It’s a waterbed!” He pushed on it with his calloused hand to show me how it rippled. “It’s great for my fuckin’ back!”
Suddenly, I didn’t care about Joe or Suzy or the whole state of Florida. Boots still on, I jumped onto that bed with both feet like it was a trampoline, hooting and nearly falling off in the same motion.
Now Larry’s jaw dropped. “No, get down!” he bellowed. “You’ll fuckin’ bust it!”
I slunk to the floor, fun over. Larry explained that the waterbed was to be treated with the utmost care, not because it was fragile but because of the flood that would occur if I punctured it with my boot heel.
The waterbed was no longer a toy; it was more like an egg just waiting to be broken.
I looked around, disheartened. Florida was not what I thought it would be.
With college behind me and Larry’s career being mobile, we decided to follow “our” dreams. We were moving to Florida.
Larry already had a house there, and we’d all had enough of our dilapidated hotel room.
While “we” were earning money for the move, I did nothing. I fed “the rats” – as I called them, although they were quite literally hamsters. Chippy and Dozer had somehow survived college – and now they ran on their very squeaky wheel all night long in our tiny room, which especially irritated Larry’s brother.
I’d slept through that wheel every night at college. Plus I loved my little rodents. Chippy – who did most of the running – was a constant source of entertainment. And Dozer was a cuddly buddy whenever I needed a friend.
Since college had ended, I’d realized I had not a single friend in the world.
My pets were my only real pals. So packing for Florida should have been easy; we’d just throw everything into the back of the pickup and go.
Except … Larry said we had to sell the pickup.
“Nooooo!” I whined. I’d never loved anything the way I loved that truck.
“That fuckin’ truck’ll never fuckin’ make it,” Larry laughed.
My dearly beloved oil-leaking Ford pickup was gone the next day.
I stopped in at my parents’ house before we left, presumably to say goodbye. After all, I was leaving forever.
The way I saw it: I was leaving their prison of responsibility to go where I would finally be free and livin’ the life. I’d be an adult in the real world – that ever-elusive real world – and I’d somehow be a success. This “goodbye” marked the end of childhood and the beginning of adulthood.
My parents didn’t see me seeing it that way.
“You’re acting like it’s a vacation,” my mom said.
“This is my life!” I retorted. “I know it’s not a vacation!” I grabbed some of my old jewelry for added effect. I was really leaving forever!
My mother has since told me that I left on her birthday, though I have no idea when I left. I certainly don’t remember saying “happy birthday” to the person whose life I was both dissing and destroying.
I just left.
I had a purple duffle bag, which Larry tied with bungee cords to the top of the tour pack. Larry threw his worldly possessions into the saddlebags. We had two cartons of cigarettes, some jeans and a couple of toothbrushes in a plastic bag.
We lined the bottom of the hamster cage with t-shirts and put the entire cage into the tour pack. The cage was made of metal; we didn’t want them to scorch themselves during the ride. We left the tour pack open half an inch so Chippy and Dozer would have “fresh” air.
Then we climbed onto the Harley and headed off to the Sunshine State.
It was a loooong trip to St. Petersburg. We’d done this trip during spring break, so I knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant. But this time, we also had to stop at least hourly to take out the hamsters and let them run in some grass.
We would rouse the two nocturnal creatures and plop them in the grass, where they’d waddle about a little, nibbling at the green. We offered them water, and sometimes they drank. Sometimes they insisted on sleep.
It was hot in that tour pack. And it was summer. And we were going south, so it got hotter as we drove.
After three days, we somehow got them – and ourselves – safely to Larry’s house.
As though he were explaining the concept to a ten-year-old, Larry told me: “I know a trade. I can work anywhere in the world.”
I wanted to be able to live “anywhere in the world,” so this seemed perfect.
Larry’s trade meant that he worked in something called a “machine shop.” I envisioned stores that sold machines – with no idea what kind of machines would need to be sold, or who would buy them, or what those machines did.
“I’m a machinist!” Larry said proudly. Everything he said about himself, he said proudly.
“You make machines?”
Larry laughed. “I make machine parts,” he said.
Larry had been doing this work at a “shop” in Braddock, which is a town near Pittsburgh that one should never visit at night. Sometimes, though, we visited Braddock in order to get cocaine since my connections in Ohio were … well, still in Ohio.
I had never seen Braddock in daylight. But with Larry working there every day and me “free” from college, he suggested that I visit him at work.
“I’ll buy ya lunch!” Larry said. I hoped this meant “beer.” Beer would be worth the ten-minute drive.
When I arrived, I parked in an alley. There was no parking lot. Larry’s motorcycle was in the alley, too.
The “building “shop” resembled a large garage outside. Inside, it resembled my seventh grade shop class, only in a very spread-out sort of way. Every five feet or so was a freestanding machine of some sort. To me, they looked like big blenders or small jackhammers. Many of these machines stood empty.
But the ones that ran were very, very loud. It was deafening in there.
Larry was wearing safety goggles, just like I wore in shop class. I saw Leo, the bass player for Larry’s band, also wearing safety goggles. A bunch of giant blenders, Leo, Larry and one other guy … that was the whole “shop.”
Larry noticed me walking in clothed, as usual, in cutoff jean shorts and bare feet. Jeans and boots were reserved for motorcycle rides.
“Hey Baby!” he said, smiling, a cigarette dangling from his lips.
Then he saw my feet. “Ya gotta have shoes on in here!” He pointed at his boots, which Larry always wore.
I went back to the car and put on moccasins. That was all I had.
Then Larry showed me around the shop. He pointed at Leo, who nodded at me. He pointed at the other guy, who didn’t nod. The entire time he spoke, he held a small metal object between his fingers – something that could have been a bolt, a weapon or a plate. He didn’t let it move in his hand; apparently it was only part-way finished.
“So this is what I do!” he said, holding his cigarette and grandly waving his one free arm.
I had absolutely zero interest.
“So you make small metal things,” I said.
“Yep!” Larry said, still smiling, holding the half-finished bolt-weapon-plate a little higher.
“Okay,” I said. “Can we go to lunch now?”
Larry laughed. “It’s past lunchtime!” he said. “It’s almost time to go home! Here – take five bucks; I’ll meet ya at Barry’s after work.” He handed me a bill from his chain-clad wallet, and leaned over to kiss me. He smelled, as always, like oil.
I took the money and held it. I glanced around. I lit a cigarette.
Still with the goofy grin, Larry shook his head in his isn’t-she-adorable way.
“Okay,” I said. I pocketed the five bucks, got in the car, and drove to Barry’s.
Sleeping on the stoop in the alley presented its own set of problems.
First, the doorway wasn’t quite as large as I’d hoped. I would have to sleep with my head on one step and the rest of my body on another step.
It was May, so the weather was warm enough that I didn’t need my biker jacket. I took it off and made a pillow from it, which was bulky and full of metal studs and zipper parts. It didn’t occur to me to turn it inside out. So I put the leather under my head and repeatedly got my hair caught in the zipper. I kept trying to find a space on the leather, failing, and getting poked with metal pieces.
Also I couldn’t stop thinking that in a few hours, someone was going to open the back door and I would be kicked in the head. So I wasn’t really drifting off comfortably.
I was, rather, trying to pass out in a place that made passing out very challenging.
I was lying there, prodded by metal and clenching my eyes shut tight, trying not to think about being kicked in the head in the morning, when I saw the light.
I mean literally, I was bathed in a very bright light. Was I dead? Dying? What was that? I tried to open my eyes but couldn’t; it was blinding. It was so bright I thought it could be sunshine. Was it morning already?
Then the light went away. I opened my eyes. The light reappeared, blinding me. I heard a voice.
“What are you doing?” said a man. A big, hovering man whose shadow stood behind the light.
“I’m trying to sleep,” I said. I thought this was perfectly clear.
“You can’t sleep here, Miss,” he said.
I sat up a little and looked at the shadow. It was becoming clearer: this wasn’t just a man. This was a policeman.
“But I live here,” I said. “And I can’t get in.”
“Don’t you have a key?”
I considered this. “No,” I said. “The door’s just always open.” I had no idea if Larry had a key to the hotel. I only knew he always unlocked the room.
“You still can’t sleep here,” said the policeman.
“But I don’t have anywhere else to go,” I said. “I threw rocks at the window and tried to wake up my boyfriend but he’s not waking up.”
“Please don’t throw any more rocks,” he said. Even in the dark, I could tell from his tone that he was rolling his eyes.
“I’m not throwing them anymore!” I said. Did he not understand I was just trying to sleep? I had given up on the rocks forever ago!
“Good,” he said. “You’re going to need to find somewhere else to go tonight. You can’t sleep here.”
“Okay,” I said, struggling to get up. It wasn’t that comfortable anyway. The policeman waited until I started walking away. Then he got back into his police car, which he’d been casually driving down the alley just looking for misfits like me.
Either that, or someone had complained about the idiot throwing rocks.
I walked several blocks, found some grass – probably someone’s backyard – and passed out there – no jacket pillow, no cement. In the morning, or possibly at noon, I found my way back to the Pitcairn Hotel where the front door was wide open, and our room was unlocked.
It was on one of those relatively normal drinking days when I wandered off on my own. Since he had a job and was working to keep the beer constantly flowing, Larry had left me at the bar and gone to bed.
Sitting there in the dark, singing along to the jukebox in my head, ignoring the handful of old men laughing at their table, I realized: I don’t have to stay here. Barry’s Bar was closing soon, Larry was gone, and I could do whatever I wanted.
So I used the restroom, finished my beer, put on my leather jacket and walked outside.
I wandered up the street, staring at its emptiness, absorbing the quiet. I listened to my boots clomp like horse’s hooves on the ground. I noticed the lights of the gas station – the only brightness I could see – and guessed that the person inside might be the only other person in the world who was awake but not at Barry’s Bar.
I walked up into the neighborhoods of Pitcairn, staring at the dark houses, wondering who lived there, wondering when they were getting up, wondering what reason they had for going to bed so early. I imagined living in Pitcairn forever, decided I’d rather be a gypsy. I walked and walked – and eventually decided to go “home” to the Pitcairn Hotel.
I walked and walked and eventually got back. I tried to go in the hotel’s front door but it was closed – and locked. Until that moment, I didn’t even know the hotel had a front door. We always just strolled up the front steps and into the dark hallway.
But it was very, very late. There must be limits to the open door policy, I thought.
I walked around the building – which is harder than one might imagine. The buildings were squashed together in the front, so there was no space between them. I had to walk all the way around the block to get to the side of the building – at which point, I decided to throw rocks at our window.
I picked up rocks. I stared at the side of the building. There were half a dozen tiny windows, all identical.
Ours was somewhere in the middle.
If ever I had a need for a cell phone, this was the moment. Unfortunately they weren’t yet invented.
So I threw rocks at all of the “middle” windows. I played softball in my youth, and had a great arm. Or so I thought.
I was too wasted to hit any of them. Eventually I started throwing whole handfuls of gravel at the wall, which didn’t travel nearly as high. I started tossing bottle caps and smashed cans and things I couldn’t identify, trying to hit the right window. A couple of things hit glass, but not many – and no one appeared to let me into the hotel.
I hoped the noise of rocks on bricks would wake Larry, but it did not.
The back door faced the alley, which was well traveled for an alley and large enough that cars could drive through the potholes and avoid the town’s one red light. My last ditch effort was a walk through the alley to the back door, which was always locked.
The door was just a slab of wood with a handle – how hard could it be to get in? I jiggled the handle and kicked at the door with my boots. Again, I hoped the noise would wake someone – to no avail.
Eventually I realized I would just have to sleep right there on the stoop, in the alley.
My days had no purpose after college. While many people went on to find careers, create families and build lives for themselves, I started my adult life with no ambition, no aspirations and no passions.
I wanted to rebel but no longer knew against what I was rebelling.
Even Larry was working.
I would wake up knowing: I am worthless. I hurt everyone I love. I have no purpose.
Then I’d light a cigarette, alone, in that dark bed in the Pitcairn Hotel and try not to think about it.
My solution was to drink as quickly and as much as possible.
I’d walk out of my dark apartment building and become instantly blinded by the light outside. I never knew what time it was, but the sun was always shining too brightly. I’d walk the 20 yards to Barry’s bar and step inside where I felt more comfortable in the dark.
Without my asking, Barry would get me a Miller Light. That’s what Larry always wanted, so that’s what I always got.
I’d crack the can carefully, so as not to spill any, and tilt the glass toward the can so I wouldn’t get too much foam. It was important to preserve every drop of the golden liquid, especially the first one.
My first sip tasted like the inside of someone’s shoe. I aimed for the back of my throat, trying to spare my taste buds, holding my breath as I gulped down as much as I could.
Within seconds, that familiar feeling returned: a tiny buzzing right in the front of my brain. An overwhelming calm. This feeling, this first-sip feeling, was the feeling I constantly craved.
For a few glorious seconds, I felt like I was exactly where I belonged in the world, like everything was okay, like my life was complete and whole and beautiful. I felt … normal.
This was not a feeling I ever had sober.
To keep the feeling going, I’d take another sip. Already the taste wasn’t as bad. Already it made sense to me, why I was doing this.
The second sip wasn’t quite as powerful though, and the buzzing in my head didn’t stay pleasant. I’d down the whole beer as fast as I could, and the calm vanished.
So I’d down another. And another.
At three beers, I became happy. I felt content and excited and brave. I felt smart and beautiful and strong. At three beers, the world was miraculous, and I fit right in.
I had it down to an art. At three beers, I was perfect.
But after three beers, I couldn’t stop. I wanted that feeling to continue, so I tried to drink in measured amounts, willing it to stay. But halfway through the fourth beer, it was already too late.
At beer four, everything vanished: the calm, the contentedness, the elated enthusiasm for life. The buzz became a sloshing. The peace became confusion. The enthusiasm became desperation.
I wanted the good feelings back, and I knew I’d gotten them from drinking, so I drank more.
Every beer was part of a search. Every beer, every day, all day long. I woke up trying to ignore my worthlessness. And I felt consistently more empty as I drank, trying to feel complete.
I’d reach outside of myself after three beers: music, men, cocaine, schnapps, sex – anything my imagination (limited by booze) would conjure. I just wanted to feel good all the time.
Eventually, I would just pass out. And the cycle would start again the next day.
After staying out extremely late the night before, getting out of bed for graduation was tough. I had to get dressed and put on my gown and get to the ceremony in time for the grand walk with my class – none of which felt like it was real.
When we lined up in alphabetical order, The One was almost directly in front of me. Everyone was hugging everyone else, so I hugged him and got into my place in line. I stood in line, hungover and fatigued, for what seemed like six hours. Then we all walked. Like cattle.
I remember absolutely nothing about the ceremony. I remember trying to keep my eyes open while my head was spinning and begging for sleep. I remember being afraid I’d fall over before I got to my diploma. I don’t remember walking across any stage, or listening to any inspirational speakers, although I’m sure when I was 21, everyone who spoke was inspirational.
After the ceremony, I found my parents. In spite of everything, and because of everything, they’d come to support me on my big day. They were dressed beautifully – Dad in a great suit, Mom in a dress – and smiled broadly as I approached.
Wearing a tan sport coat he’d picked up at Goodwill just for this occasion, Larry stepped out in front of my parents, arms outstretched and squatting halfway to greet me, that big grin on his face as always.
“There’s my girl!” he said, lifting me up and half-spinning and kissing me. “You’re a college graduate!”
I’m not sure Larry had ever known a college graduate before.
When he put me down, I was finally able to say hello to my parents – the ones who had paid for my education, who hadn’t seen me in months, who should have been congratulated themselves for the four years of angst, turmoil and financial distress.
“Congratulations!” said my mom, hugging me and patting me on the back. My dad repeated the sentiment and hug. At that moment, I loved them with all my heart, had no idea why I’d ever left, and just wanted to crawl back into my bed and stay with them forever.
What else did I have to do?
We were there for only a minute when Debbie, my best friend from freshman year, appeared out of the gown-clad crowd and hugged me. We hadn’t spent much time together since Bonnie had arrived at Mount Union, but seeing her …
The memories flooded back: meeting her on a sidewalk the day we tested for scholarships; finding her living in the room next door; playing games during orientation week; track house parties where we danced for hours; all-nighters in the King Hall lobby where we laughed so hard my stomach ached and my face hurt and we didn’t get any studying done at all.
Debbie and I hugged for a long, long time. We’d always said we would live next door to one another and raise our children together. We both knew we were headed separate ways. We knew it would be our last moment at college, and we both cried. And hugged. And cried. And cried.
When I let her go, I felt like I was letting go of my youth. But I did, eventually, let her go.
“Would you like to get some lunch?” my mom asked me – and, presumably, Larry.
“Sure,” I said, wiping my eyes and trying to focus on the future.
Other than lunch, I could see no future ahead of me at all.
The last party of the year meant more to me than graduation day. It was the end of an era, the end of my youth and, as far as I could tell, the end of my life. I wanted to make the most of it.
I think it was a Phi Tau party, but I cannot be sure. I only know that I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.
Bonnie – who wasn’t graduating since she was two full years younger than me – had gone home. Her boyfriend, Tony, had not.
So when Tony invited me to smoke a joint with him, I followed him into his room. I was still in my “I-don’t-smoke-pot” holier-than-thou phase, so I wandered around his room while he smoked a joint. He let me pick the music – some fabulous new wave stuff – and as much as I wanted to get back to the party, I was having too much fun with Tony. We were having a wonderful chat when, quite suddenly, Tony pulled me onto his lap and started kissing me.
Tony was a very, very good kisser.
I immediately forgot about Bonnie and continued kissing Tony until he got up and locked the door – and then I continued kissing Tony until we’d gone way beyond kissing and I still never even considered stopping. Tony and I never discussed Bonnie, and eventually I just wandered back to the party to continue having my end-of-college fun.
Of course I kept drinking the whole time.
I wandered around the frat house with my red cup, reminiscing about all the times I’d wandered around frat houses with red cups. I pushed through the people without talking or making eye contact, like a fly on the wall of my own experience. I watched people drinking and laughing and yelling over the music; I noticed the stickiness of the floor under my feet, the empty cups strewn about and placed on tables with cigarette butts in them. I felt the BOOM BOOM BOOM of the bass thumping and heard shrieks coming from someone laughing on the stairs and I saw the smiles on the faces all around me and I thought, This is how life should always be.
I couldn’t bear the thought that college was ending; I wanted it to last forever.
I started talking to Tom in a corner. One of my regular friends with benefits, Tom asked if I wanted to go for a ride, and I did. Cans of beer rolled around – miraculously chilled – on the floor of his van, and we cracked them open as we rode.
It felt like flying over the plains of Ohio. The weather was gorgeous, the windows were open, the night sky was ours.
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Tom stopped the van and we became very adventurous in the front seat. We may as well have been lovers at the end of a long relationship; with college ending, we were ending, and we kissed extra long knowing this.
Then we drove home, quieter and softer somehow. It was getting late.
As we hopped out of the van, amidst the insanity of the still-rocking party, I saw someone I really didn’t want to see. The fact that Larry was in town for my graduation hadn’t even crossed my mind.
“There you are!” Larry said, catching me at the door. Tom had disappeared. Larry smiled and kissed me, completely oblivious to the details of my night.
