I Worry and Worry and Worry!
Last night, in an unprecedented attempt at allowing the children to have independence, we left them at a friend’s house – with their two children – and the four adults went out to dinner.
It’s hard to trust your kids – at ages 10 and 13 – to spend an evening with other kids, even if the other kids are incredibly responsible and well-behaved. But I just plain trusted them. I went out without worry, and the kids were playing happily when we left.
As a result, I’m not sure it would have been possible for any of us to have had a better time.
We got home very late on a school night, and the kids were still wide awake and bouncy. Normally, exhaustion makes Dylan into a tall, red-headed rubber ball – but he was almost sedate. And normally, Shane falls onto his face in the middle of the floor when he’s tired – but he was clear-eyed and quite conscious.
We put them to bed quickly anyway. Shane was probably asleep before I left the room. Dylan showered (and took too long) and was probably awake when I went to bed at 11:00.
Dylan said he could get himself ready for school, if I would just drive him. He set his alarm for 6:30.
So this morning, I went downstairs when Dylan was supposed to be climbing into the car – but he was not there. His lunchbox was empty. No breakfast had been made.
Against the better judgment (again) of all the self-help books, I started making an egg sandwich for Dylan to eat in the car. (I won’t be all that surprised when Dylan never learns to have natural consequences to his behavior – because I keep helping him against the better judgment of all the self-help books.)
Dylan came downstairs. “I don’t know what happened,” he said. “When I woke up, it was 7:04.” He doesn’t even remember his alarm going off.
So he made his lunch and I made his breakfast and we got out the door just fine, in plenty of time for school and still way earlier than the bus arrives. He went in tired, but fed.
Shane slept almost two hours later than he usually does, and woke up well-rested and ready to go – and just in time to eat breakfast and get out the door a tad early, so he could see his friends before school.
I wonder if my whole life would go this well if, say, I trusted that everything was going to be okay.
Sadly, I’m not sure I’ll ever know. I worry and worry and worry! But maybe today, I can give it a try and see what happens.