NOT VALID!
This morning, to finish up my Christmas shopping, I ordered gift boxes and tissue paper at Target – then went to the store and picked up my order.
I’ve made it my mission to actually pay for (rather than charge) everything I buy this year for Christmas. As such, I’ve been keeping a close eye on my credit cards and paying my bills as soon as I make any charges. But for Target, I save 5% (woo hoo!) by using my Target credit card – so I have to pay that charge separately.
So I hopped online to login and make a payment. This is usually pretty easy. I typed in my username and password.
A bold, bright red error message appeared: NOT VALID!
I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Maybe I had changed my password. I tried a few different ones, and finally – humiliated – I clicked on “forgot password?”
“Please choose one of the following ways to login,” said the new page. My choices were to type in the year that I got my Target credit card (which could have been ANY year in the past 30) or the last four digits of my social security number. I typed in the last four digits of my social security number.
An error message appeared next to my the SSN box: NOT VALID!
I was beginning to get peeved. Rather than re-enter the correct digits a few dozen times, I decided to call. I found the number online, and dialed.
“So that we can help you, please enter the last four digits of your card number and press pound.”
I did that.
“Now please enter the last four digits of your social security number and press pound.”
Then I did that.
The system responded with: “Want to make managing your account even easier? Go to target.com/myredcard to enroll online….”
Gee. I had already enrolled online. I needed to speak with someone about accessing my account. I tried pressing zero.
“We’re sorry. We didn’t recognize that,” the system said. I pressed zero. I pressed 1, 2 and 3. I listened to all of the automated prompts. I couldn’t speak with a human being.
So I visited gethuman.com – the best resource for finding out how to talk to a real person when phone systems are useless.
After 20 minutes, I found something that told me to “repeatedly say ‘customer service’ until you get the option to dial 0.”
I called back. I said, “customerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservicecustomerservice….”
Finally, something shifted in the system. I pressed zero – and got a real human being. He helped me reset my password, but did nothing to help the system recognize my social security number. (The second person with whom I talked assured me that this “just happens sometimes, for security reasons.” In other words, no one will ever fix the system, and it will never recognize my social security number.)
Still, finally, after only an hour, I was able to log in to my account. With my pending purchase this morning, my total amount owed was $104.58. So I logged in, clicked “pay my bill,” and typed in “$104.58.”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. There it was – another “NOT VALID!”
“The amount entered exceeds the amount owed,” the website said. “Please enter a lower amount.”
Quietly, without throwing anything, I left the Target website. I went to my bank website, clicked on “Make Payment,” and paid Target $104.58.
And I sincerely believe I will never, ever use the Target credit card website again.
I can see the humor… now.
This is SO funny! (Msybe not to you)