You Forgot to Turn Them In?
“Shane,” I said, staring at his online grades. “What happened in English?”
“What do you mean?” he answered, barely looking up from his video game.
“Why are you missing two assignments?”
“Oh, I forgot to turn them in,” he said. “And now it’s too late.”
“You forgot to turn them in?”
“Yeah.”
I thought of Dylan and the many, many, many assignments he has turned in late, especially when he was in middle school. “It can’t be too late,” I said.
I emailed the teacher. The teacher emailed me back. It really was too late.
I couldn’t believe it. Shane had two zeros.
Two weeks went by.
Then, quite suddenly, Shane’s grade in band dropped from 100% to 97.3%. He was missing his weekly practice chart – a paper that represents five days of drum practice – from back in February. Shane has turned in a practice chart, on time, every week for nearly two years.
“Shane,” I said. “You’re missing a practice chart?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said.
“Where is it?”
“It’s in my room. I guess I just forgot to turn it in because there was a substitute.”
“Wait,” I said. “You mean you didn’t turn in your practice chart this week?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I forgot to.”
The missing practice chart on the computer was from two weeks ago.
Something inside me snapped a little.
“That means you have missed two practice charts this quarter!” I shrieked. “And you have two missing assignments in English! What’s going on, Shane?”
“I don’t know,” he said, quite calmly. “I guess I just need to put it somewhere in my binder where I can remember it.”
“I guess you do,” I said.
Since Dylan is the oldest, and first to go through school, I have no idea how I would have handled this with Shane if he had been the oldest, and forgotten four things in two months. Dylan has forgotten way, way, way more than four assignments.
But Dylan has ADHD. He has a biological reason for forgetting.
Shane just forgot to turn in his practice chart.
Twice. In two months.
I have no idea how to put that into perspective. I don’t know if I should worry.
Obviously, I am worried anyway. I am not worried that Shane has ADHD. I am worried that, even without ADHD, the teenage brain is somehow incapable of remembering vital pieces of information. Or maybe it’s the male brain. Or maybe it’s just people in my house. Maybe this is normal human behavior.
I have no idea!
Certainly, I have forgotten things. But I’m not sure I ever – even in my darkest teen years – forgot to turn in an assignment.
So now, just a little bit, I am holding my breath.