Brilliant … But Bouncy

You Don’t Just Give Up.

Dear Shane,

I was just thinking about when you came home from ping pong league.

You said, “I lost all the games tonight.”

And my response was: “Maybe you should quit.”

You didn’t think you should quit, though. In fact, quite the opposite – you thought you should work harder, take lessons, practice more, play more and do more to get better. You wanted to stop losing, sure, but mostly you wanted to improve your game. You wanted to do whatever you could to make the most out of your time with this sport.

You have a quality called persistence. You are willing to challenge yourself and do more, so that you can get better at something. When you are committed to something, you don’t just give up.

I don’t have that quality. Mostly, I always want to quit.

When I was in high school, I played two sports: tennis and softball. I hated to practice, and I didn’t have any friends on my team. I am not sure why I played exactly, but I am glad – now – that I did.

But back then? In softball I mostly sat on the bench. I don’t remember playing in any games. I’m sure I did, because my parents remember it. I don’t remember batting or catching any balls. I just remember standing in the outfield, kicking around the grass and thinking I’d rather be walking my dog.

And in tennis, we had to play other girls on our team to determine our “position.” Only the top girls got to play in the matches. To move up, I had to beat someone who was better than me. I spent a lot of time playing the same girl. I almost always did beat her, but my coach kept putting her in the matches instead of me, even when I won. And I never stood up for myself.

I always, always, always felt like I should quit. I never wanted to be there.

I didn’t think I should practice more or work harder. I never talked to the coach about the game, or asked what I could do to get better. I just sat around feeling sorry for myself, thinking about quitting.

I didn’t even try to play better, in either sport. I did not have persistence.

You, however, do have persistence. It’s one of your strongest, most wonderful characteristics. I have seen you go from B’s to A’s in classes, over and over again, because you have persistence. I have seen you complete things that are tremendously challenging – like indoor track – just because you committed to do it. And I’ve seen you tackle plays and musicals with real gusto, even though it takes a ton of work and an insane amount of time.

You don’t give up. In that way especially, you are not like me.

And I truly admire that quality in you. You inspire me to try harder, to do more, just by watching you do it. Thank you for that. And I am sorry for suggesting that you quit playing ping pong. Your way is much better.

Love,

Mom