Brilliant … But Bouncy

Wow, Look How Cool The Trees Look.

Oops.

I forgot to tell Dylan to take his caffeine pill after breakfast.

So our morning was a little rocky.

I made his animal-protein-filled-(because-it-interacts-with-L-Tyrosine) sausage, egg and cheese sandwich. I set out a huge glass of water, a banana and some eggnog on the side.

But Dylan came down late, as usual. He took all three pills and shoved the banana into his face when I wasn’t even looking.

I offered to drive him to school, so he put the eggnog in a portable cup, chugged the water, and wrapped up the sandwich.

He slurped down the eggnog while Snap Chatting.

While we were stuck in traffic by a park, Dylan said, “Wow, look how cool the trees look.”

Oh. My. Gosh. 

I hadn’t heard him talk like that since the first time he took Adderall in fourth grade. Dylan was focusing on the trees, watching how they swayed in the wind, noticing the fall colors for the first time in eons.

The pill was working.

Then I noticed the sandwich, still wrapped and sitting in his lap. “You have to eat, Dylan,” I said. “We’re almost there.”

“I can’t eat. I feel sick.”

Oh no, I thought. This happened with Adderall, too.

“You need to eat,” I said. “You took the caffeine pill on an empty stomach, and then you chugged all that liquid. You have to eat. It will actually make your stomach feel better.”

“I literally can’t eat,” he said.

“You have to eat,” I said. “You need the protein, and it will help your stomach.”

“I CAN’T EAT,” he declared. “I will THROW UP.”

We started screaming at each other. (It was another proud moment for Mom of the Year.) I pulled the car over, and wouldn’t let him go to school until he ate something.

Eventually, he pulled the sandwich apart and shoved the sausage into his mouth. He chewed with great disdain, breathing shallowly as if this were causing him extreme pain, then swallowed.

“THERE,” he said, livid. “Can I go to school now?”

He was late for school, and furious with me. But he was alert and aware on 200 milligrams of caffeine.

I texted him later: “I sincerely hope you are feeling better.”

“I still feel kinda sick,” he texted back. “But hey, I was the first one in my class to finish my government paper.”

Last week, he had four unfinished assignments in government.

The pill works.