Brilliant … But Bouncy

We Miss Shane.

When my parents offered to take Shane to Chicago for some “special Shane time,” I thought exclusively about how much fun he would have, and how some special time would be great for him. And indeed, he is having a wonderful time.

Beyond missing Shane, I didn’t think about how losing Shane would affect our family dynamic – particularly, how it would affect Dylan.

With Shane gone, Dylan spends all of his time texting his friends. He spent the entire first day alternatively texting and reading Shane’s book, Adventures in Odyssey: The Official Guide – a huge paperback about the radio show that Shane adores. Dylan has started listening to it, too, and he studied that guide in one day more than Shane studied it in a year.

Bill and Dylan have had time to do some go-kart racing – something they’ve been meaning to do for six months at the new indoor karting place. And as a family, we all went to see Dylan’s friend’s dad play music with his band – which was a real treat, except that Dylan’s friend didn’t show up.

Mealtime is rather lame. Bill and I have been sitting in front of the TV with our slices of toast or whatever we throw together, since Dylan is either still sleeping or busy texting. We don’t have our happy family meals. Shane isn’t sitting there asking us to play a game – which he often does – so no one has even bothered to sit at the table.

I am getting a glimpse of what it would be like to have had only one child. Before we decided to have a second child, I was so worried about what it would do to Dylan – to his whole life – if we took away our individual attention from him, and added a baby to the mix. After I was pregnant, I remember sobbing, afraid that I would somehow be losing Dylan by having a second child.

It is so clear, now, that having Shane has brightened everyone’s life. He has helped to make us a real family, and has brought so much joy to all of us. He’s such an integral part of everything we do.

Shane is funny. He makes us all laugh. He has a wit so dry, sometimes even he doesn’t know why he’s funny. And his calm is infectious. The rest of us are a bit more relaxed with life, just because he is near.

When his favorite song comes on the radio, we look at each other with sad faces. There is no one here to do magic tricks for us. We didn’t realize how often we asked Shane for advice, until he wasn’t here for us to ask. When anything comes up in conversation that reminds us of him – and many, many things do – we just can’t enjoy it like we do with Shane.

We miss him. We can’t wait for Shane to come home, and make our family whole again.