Understanding Is Important.
Today, I can breathe.
I am worried about the virus – still. I am concerned about the division of our country – still. I believe what I believe, and not everyone believes what I believe – still. But today, I have hope.
For four years, I have been struggling under a weight that felt like a boulder – an enormous, heavy rock crushing my entire body and soul. As the months passed, and the years, the boulder didn’t just get heavier; it felt like an elephant – then two or three more elephants – climbed on top of the boulder.
Then, on the morning of January 20, for the first time in my life, I awoke thinking about the government. I remembered that today was the day I’d been anticipating for four years. I crawled out of bed with one less elephant crushing me.
But – as a worrier will do – I was still afraid. My concern this time was that a crazy person with a gun would take away the new President of the United States. Until 1:00 in the afternoon, I was still afraid.
And then, as the day wore on, the elephants fell off. By evening, the boulder had crumbled into tiny pieces. I brushed away every one of those tiny pieces before I went to sleep.
I know that there are people who wished that we would not have found such an honest, direct, transparent, professional man to lead our country. I’m not sure I will ever in my lifetime understand how those people could continue to believe that our former “leader” was a decent person, given the preponderance of evidence against him.
And for me, understanding is important. The “why” of this situation is so far out of the realm of my understanding that I want very much to just shove it aside, forget about it, and brush off some of the people I love like I brushed off that crumbled boulder.
But I think it’s going to require a lot of understanding for this country to move forward. Obviously violence isn’t the answer, but so many people are angry that somehow, in some way, we all need to find a common ground – and start building there.
I sincerely hope that can happen – soon – so that no one else has to walk around carrying boulders and elephants for the next four years.
This is so good. I know we have to unite in our hearts before the country can heal, but my heart and mind are still at war with the people who voted for him. They are the ones, not him, who are responsible for this disaster. I’ve been praying, but it’s going to take some time. I’m hoping that’s all it takes.
I think everyone just did what they thought was best at the time. They thought they were doing the right thing. I definitely blame Trump. Maybe that’s why it’s easier to forgive those who followed him so blindly?