Shane is Growing Up.
Spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with Shane is helping me to see things that I hadn’t noticed before. The most important of these things is that Shane is growing up.
While we are purposefully having family time, Shane is choosing to be independent most of the time. He’s doing his school work on time – in spite of my consistently asking about it, which is just an old habit from Dylan’s high school days. Shane is learning new material, getting everything done, and checking in with teachers if he needs help. So I don’t have to wonder if it’s getting done.
Shane’s also doing the typical teen things: hanging out on his phone, watching YouTube, watching TV, playing video games. And while I wish Shane was connecting more with people, even online, right now isn’t really the time to push that agenda.
Because Shane is also doing Shane things: playing drums again, making Instagram videos, lifting weights, climbing trees, and challenging himself to get better at whatever he’s decided to learn. He’s chatting regularly with his youth minister, exploring his spiritual side. Emotionally, he’s handling the OCD like a champ: in spite of the pandemic, he’s incredibly balanced and calm.
And physically, he’s on fire. A couple of days ago, I asked him to hang up my new hummingbird bench – made by a friend – in our tree, and he did. Then he did a handful of pull-ups on the bottom branch.
Shane is very athletic, and loves net sports in particular. But I’ve never seen him so interested in fitness before. Or at least, I’ve never noticed. Yesterday he said something about his “cardio workout” and I nearly fell out of my chair.
This is, of course, wonderful news. Shane used to turn to me when he felt low; now he’s taking care of himself more like an adult. He’s not completely absent, and he’s never rude. But he gets things done for himself in a way that I have never really noticed.
I wonder if, because of our unique situation, I was just too busy to notice before – or if Shane decided to take this time to do things he’d always wanted to do, but never had.
Either way, it is a sheer joy to watch. I miss him; I miss my baby. He’s always going to be my baby, and I’ll probably always see that toddler in him.
But I’m so happy for my “baby” to be a mature young man now. And even if it took a pandemic, I’m thrilled that he’s being himself, taking charge of his life, and becoming more confident in himself. I’ve always known he was strong and smart and funny and interesting.
Now, it seems, he’s finding out those things about himself, too.