It Just Made Me Who I Am.
“So, Dylan, are you glad you went to private school this year?”
“Absolutely.”
“Why?” I asked. “I mean, what makes you glad you went there?”
“Everything.”
“But you complained about it all year: ‘Mom, can I please go back to my old school?’ You even went and sat in a geometry class, remember?”
“Yeah, but that was before I realized how good it was at private school.”
“So what is so good about private school?”
“Well, I do have a lot of freedom,” he said. “I can get up and walk around in class. And really I can do whatever I want, instead of just sitting there.”
“So you’re glad you went because you had more freedom.”
“No, I’m glad I went because now I know it’s not the school that was the problem. I mean, I just had a lot to learn and I’m glad I learned it.”
“So that’s why you’re glad you went to private school?”
“No,” he said. “I just used to care about a lot of stupid stuff that I don’t care about anymore. And I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t gone to private school. I think it just made me who I am.”
I had to pause, and think about this.
Because it is, truly, the sum of our experiences that make us who we are – and my 14-year-old knew it intuitively.
There are a few things I would have changed about our private school experience:
- I would have found out that Dylan couldn’t take sign language before we paid the tuition, rather than trusting the admissions officer.
- I would have budgeted for the extra $400/month in travel expenses.
- I would have figured out a way to spend more time with Shane – even if that meant taking him with me in the car.
- I would not have bothered to attend the homecoming festivities.
I wish I’d had enough forethought to visit the school before it closed for the summer – but it wasn’t until the year was over that we made the decision to move Dylan from public school.
I don’t regret the decision, or the absurd amount of money we spent. I’d spent Dylan’s entire life wondering if he needed a special school to meet his special needs. And now I know that – NO – he doesn’t need a “special” school.
In fact, he mostly just needs to socialize and learn to find his way in the world – just like every other young person.