It Is Likely to Kill Me.

I would love to keep writing about my kids. In fact, I would love to be having those regular revelations that keep me writing about my kids.

But lately, I have not been having revelations about anything – except myself. My kids are living it, though, right along with me.

I have been learning about my autoimmune disorder, which has been attacking my thyroid for decades. I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t care, because I was too busy paying attention to my kids.

But I want my kids to have a mom. And I have this autoimmune thing. And it is likely to kill me if I don’t do something about it soon.

Ridiculous as it sounds now, it never occurred to me that an autoimmune disorder would kill me. Then I found out about the connection between the liver and the thyroid. Then I found books on how to reverse the disorder.

Then a dear friend died of a similar autoimmune disorder, and she was exactly my age.

So I’ve been learning what to do about it – mostly, what to eat – and trying to get ridiculous amounts of rest. I am supposed to sleep for 12 hours a day. I take a ton of very natural vitamins, and I am finding out what my body can, and can’t, tolerate.

I am doing well with food and vitamins. I am not doing well with rest. I can sleep when Shane goes to college.

Still, I am doing what I can. My kids are being subjected to smoothies every morning, because I have discovered that drinking a smoothie loaded with produce makes me feel like a million bucks.

They do not want to drink the smoothies, but they do.

I am not exercising. I am still playing softball, as long as it’s not raining, and I am in better health now than I was six months ago.

My kids are not exercising, either. P.E. class is a time when Shane spends most of his hour in line waiting for a turn to kick the ball.

For Dylan, it’s like a death sentence to sit still. For Shane, getting no exercise makes him despondent. The difference in all of us on a “regular” day and all of us with a shot of endorphins is enormous. It’s the difference between a rainy Sunday and a cool, sunny day at Disney World.

We desperately need to move. So I walk the dog, and I beg Shane to go with me. Neither of us wants to go, but we always feel better when we do.

My days, dull though they may seem, have been spectacular adventures of self-discovery. I have an addictive personality but, for some reason, I have never gotten addicted to anything healthy. I just don’t like healthy things.

But I can force down a smoothie every morning. I can walk more often. I can help my kids do the same.

So that’s where I am today. And that’s why I don’t feel like writing blogs. I guess, for now, I feel like I don’t have anything interesting to say.

But I will keep writing, because this is my record of my life. Sometimes life is just boring.

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