I’ll Lose a Year of My Life.
After a New York Times article blew the roof off the misperception that college life isn’t likely to be normal in the fall, I couldn’t help but forward it to Dylan.
Having lived through four years of college myself – a time which was irreplaceable in making me who I am – I’ve been wondering if Dylan shouldn’t … maybe … take a gap year now.
So I forwarded the article to him, along with the following note:
Think about this: the time that you’ve been home since spring break is LESS than the time you will be at school – the difference being, you will be at school with 8,000 other students, none of whom are wearing masks (or required to) – AND you will not be able to have band practice, or choral practice, or even audition for an a cappella group. You won’t be able to volunteer for stuff, or meet with any clubs, or try Ultimate Frisbee. You won’t be getting to know new people; you’ll be lucky to see the people in your own class.
And classes are likely to all be online – which means you will be stuck in your dorm (no guarantees that you’ll be able to visit other dorm rooms) on your computer for every class. You will be in the caf three times a day – it would be insane to travel off campus to go get fast food, especially given the city’s disregard for regulations. There won’t be any hanging out in the dorm lobby, but you might get to socially distance outside. Except you won’t see anyone else social distancing, because they won’t care. They will think, “I’m not sick.” And eventually you will believe that, too, and you’ll stop doing what it takes to stay healthy.
Worst of all, you will completely miss a WHOLE YEAR of the four best years of your life, because it’s not going to be as good as it should be. You’ll be locked away from all the fun that college has to offer.
Please seriously consider taking a gap year.
Dylan’s (lengthy, thought-provoking) response wasn’t enthusiastic about gap years. His friends will be at college, and they’re all going back. His age group is unlikely to die from coronavirus. He feels confident – like most teenagers do – that he’s invincible. And he’s volunteered to self-quarantine when he comes home, so as not to give anything to the rest of his family.
My favorite – and most influential – line from Dylan’s texts about his decision is this one:
“Maybe I’ll lose a year of what college has the potential to be, but if I stay here with everything on hold, I’ll lose a year of my life.”
Well said, Son. Profound, mature – and correct.
No gap year, again, for Dylan.
And for once in his life, I am ready to trust him to do the right thing.