This Wasn’t a Good Idea.

I don’t often order from Amazon anymore, since they became a company that ships mostly out of China and can’t be trusted with regard to expiration dates on food, sizes on clothing, or quality on ANY items. In fact, I try not to use Amazon at all.

Given that we are now in a nationwide crisis, I’m sure I will loosen the reigns on my self-imposed “rule” about this. And actually, I recently succumbed to the lure.

This wasn’t a good idea.

I ordered five things. Most importantly, I wanted a specific type of lip balm, which I can’t find in any of my local stores. In order to get the free shipping, I had to find $35 worth of stuff to order. (I canceled my Prime account years ago, when I realized that Amazon was deteriorating.) Looking back, I should have ordered $35 of lip balm.

Five days later, I got a note: “Good news! Your items have shipped!”

In the good old days, my items would have shipped within a few hours of my placing the order. This is no longer the case. First, I wait until someone decides to actually ship my items; then I can start counting the days for my order to arrive.

Several days after that, four things arrived in a HUGE envelope – a DVD for an upcoming road trip (now canceled), and makeup that Shane wanted for his play (indefinitely postponed).

The website said I had to wait an additional week for the lip balm.

Among Shane’s makeup items, the eye shadow cracked, which meant that the other three items were completely covered in black soot when I opened the envelope. I had to contact customer service, who assured me that they would take care of the packaging problem and send me replacements right away.

I told them the DVD would be fine, since it was sealed in plastic.

So they said they would send new makeup, packaged properly.

The next day – the very next day! – I got the exact same huge envelope, with the exact same makeup inside – this time, unbroken. There was no new packaging, and the fact that the eye shadow wasn’t cracked this time was just dumb luck.

Meanwhile, my lips were cracked and sore. Two weeks had passed.

I went on a trip to visit Dylan without the lip balm. While I was gone, Bill told me I got a package from Amazon.

“Finally!” I told him. “It’s lip balm; feel free to open it.”

Bill opened it. It was not lip balm. It was a black-and-white flannel dress, with a matching flannel belt.

“I didn’t order that; it must be a gift!” I said. I called my parents and asked Dylan – but none of them had sent me a gift. 

Three days later, I returned home to find the dress and tried it on, still utterly baffled. And still waiting for the lip balm. It had been three weeks.

Like most of Amazon’s stuff, the dress was made in China and didn’t fit. So I looked carefully at the envelope to see who it was from: AmericaRX.

I looked back at my Amazon account. The name of the company sending the lip balm? AmericaRX. They’d sent me a flannel dress instead of lip balm.

I won’t bore you with the details of my conversation with the Amazon rep. Amazon couldn’t replace my lip balm, but they refunded my $5.63.

So I have $30 worth of makeup and a DVD, and a flannel dress.

After waiting three weeks, I bought the lip balm at our local car wash.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *