He is a LITTLE KID!
Sometimes I think that the hardest thing about being a parent is making sure that the kids don’t kill each other.
Even on Shane’s birthday, I heard Dylan saying things to him like, “You didn’t do much for your birthday,” and “Birthdays are getting kind of lame.”
Maybe this is how Dylan is feeling. After all, he got a used tractor for his birthday when he wanted a go kart. Birthdays DO get lame as you get older – although I still fight to make mine spectacular every year. But that’s another story.
Shane, however, has just turned 10. Birthdays are still magical. They should still be magical at 13. And having Dylan drill into his brain that birthdays “are getting kind of lame” threw me right over the edge.
I pulled Dylan aside – on Shane’s birthday – and screeched at him: “It is his BIRTHDAY. He is a LITTLE KID! If you can’t treat him kindly and show him some respect TODAY then don’t bother even LOOKING at him tomorrow!”
Sometimes I think my own personal issues creep in without my knowledge.
Looking back at this comment, it seems that there was more at play than just making sure Shane had a happy birthday. There’s a bit of fear. There’s the fear that my oldest son didn’t enjoy his own birthday, and that it’s my fault. There’s the fear that my oldest son has no respect for his brother, and that he will continue to verbally abuse him at every opportunity.
There’s the fear that my oldest son is going to get all the attention, all the time, even when it’s my youngest son’s birthday. There’s the fear that my youngest son will never get any attention.
And there’s the fear that my boys are growing up, and that there’s nothing I can do to keep them young just a little while longer.
I need to back off and let them grow up. Together, and in spite of what they say to one another. In spite of Dylan and his issues, and me and my issues.
I need to back off. And let them grow up.