He Didn’t Want To Go.
For many years, Dylan has been considering taking a gap year.
Between high school and college, he wanted to take a break from school. He wanted to learn how to “do life” before learning to do life and school simultaneously. Since ADHD brains mature more slowly than non-ADHD brains, this seemed like a perfect opportunity for his brain to catch up with the brains of his peers.
But Dylan had no motivation to research gap year opportunities.
So I did it for him. I bookmarked fifty websites of places he could go, things he could do, during his one-year break. This included everything from summer jobs to overseas jobs to places near home he might enjoy working.
We always talked about the gap year as a time when Dylan would learn to organize his time, prioritize his responsibilities, feed himself properly, learn to do laundry, earn money, get enough sleep. Then, when he went to college, he would be able to focus on the most important thing: school work.
We made it very clear that Dylan couldn’t do a “gap year” by sitting at home on his cell phone. We also made it very clear that we weren’t paying $40,000 for a specialized gap year trip around the world. Many “gap year programs” are designed for wealthy parents who want their children to have an opportunity to see the world. They’re awesome opportunities – but they cost as much as a year at college, and the travelers do little – if any – work.
AmeriCorps was the perfect solution to Dylan’s gap year dilemma. Located in the United States, AmeriCorps has programs specifically designed for ages 18 to 25. Teams of young adults travel throughout the country, helping people and organizations who most need help. Dylan applied for the NCCC program, which was most likely to be physical labor – which Dylan loves.
But when he was accepted, Dylan didn’t even smile. In fact, he didn’t want to go.
I guessed “fear,” and suggested that he do some research on the program. So he did. The program is great. The people are great. But Dylan didn’t really know what to expect, and was still hesitant. He was afraid of the unknown.
So I set him up with an AmeriCorps alum – someone who’d lived the experience – to talk to Dylan about everyday life in AmeriCorps. I found the alum randomly, through an AmeriCorps Facebook page.
“I’m leaving this one up to God,” I told Bill. “If Dylan is supposed to go to AmeriCorps, this person will say all kinds of things that make him want to go. If Dylan isn’t supposed to go, then he’ll get a different kind of person.”
Dylan came home from the meeting and said, “I need to withdraw my application.”
What Dylan heard from the alum is that he would have to take classes on days he wasn’t working. Dylan hates classes.
There are tons of good things about AmeriCorps. And Dylan would probably have been fine in the program. In fact, he might want to try it after college.
But Dylan said, “You know, I was never excited about AmeriCorps. I’m really only excited about one thing. I want to go to college.”
Four years of discussion about a gap year – and what he wants is to go to college. Okay, then, college it is!