He Cheated!
Shane started playing league ping pong a few weeks ago. I watched while he was in a match with a much younger boy.
I didn’t like what I saw.
Shane made a shot and the kid slammed it back, completely missing the table. “That’s my point,” the kid said. “It hit the table.”
“What?” Shane asked, perplexed.
“It was my point,” the kid said again. “The ball hit the table.”
“Okay,” Shane said.
That ball never hit the table, I thought.
They played another point. Shane hit the ball back and it hit the net, then fell onto the other side of the table. As unlucky as it was for Shane’s opponent, legally Shane should have had the point. But…
“That shouldn’t have gone over,” said the kid. “I get that point.”
This went on and on and on. Shane kept shrugging, confused, but accepting the kid’s word as if Shane had no idea how to play ping pong.
He’d never met a cheater before. And though Shane was five years older than his opponent, he had no worldly wisdom on which to draw. He simply gave away point after point after point, until the kid had won the match.
Afterward, the boys had to write down their scores.
“He cheated!” I said, looking at Shane – but loudly enough for both boys to hear. The kid looked at me guiltily. “You cheated!” I shrieked. I started to nitpick about each point that the kid had stolen from Shane.
The kid’s dad came rushing over. He didn’t look at me. “You won the game,” he said to his son. “You won the game so you write that down.”
“He cheated the entire time!” I shrieked.
The father ignored me. He didn’t defend the boy’s actions – but he certainly condoned them.
Ten minutes later, that same dad was watching his daughter play ping pong. He was berating her for every point she lost. She was older than her brother, and cringing at every word he said. In fact, it looked as though she didn’t want to play the game at all. She struggled through, clearly not wanting to play, and lost the match.
I realized quite suddenly that their dad was the problem – even more so than the cheating child. He was raising kids to win at any cost. And as a result, he was raising a cheater and a quitter.
I was disappointed that Shane didn’t stand up for himself. We talked later about how to do that. But I was proud that he hadn’t sunk to the boy’s level, tried to steal points, or given up on himself.
Shane was raised to be kind at all times. The Golden Rule is still the most important one we have.
And Shane lives by it, wholly and well, every day and in every activity. And while he may have lost that ping pong match, he will go much farther in life, and be much happier, than that cheating ping pong player – or the cheater’s father – ever will.