Can We Get Cocaine?

Since doing cocaine on New Year’s Eve way back in 1984, I longed to thoroughly and exceptionally enjoy the last day of the year. I didn’t know how to make it happen, but I believed that New Year’s Eve had to be special.

I didn’t want to go to a bar and see a live band, like we always did. I wanted to do something different, something special, something fabulous and unforgettable. The memories I planned to make would last me till my dying day. On the last day of 1986, I wanted to party. I wanted to blast loud music and dance until the sun came up and drink champagne and do lots and lots and lots of cocaine – just like I had two years earlier.

Unfortunately, this was not the lifestyle I now lived. Unless Bonnie came to visit, which was rare, I had absolutely no friends, and all of Larry’s friends were ancient. And no one in my biker circle understood my voracious appetite for cocaine, nor could they afford it. Cocaine was ridiculously expensive.

So when Larry said, “Leo’s friend is having a party” – and assumed we were going – I got very excited.

“Can we get cocaine?” I asked immediately, hopeful.

Larry laughed. “We don’t need that shit,” he said. So we went to the party without any cocaine or champagne, a 12-pack of Miller Lite tucked under Larry’s arm which, I believe, he drank entirely on his own.

There was no dancing. People were sitting around on couches; the television was on. Whole groups of people were walking in and out of the back door, seemingly just wandering. Music was playing and there was a keg out there.

It wasn’t what I had envisioned, but it would do.

I was in a carpeted hallway – and in line for the bathroom – when I met Edgar. He was young, my height, with jet-black hair and dark eyes. As we stood next to each other waiting, we eventually started chatting.

Edgar was a school bus driver – a job I had always wanted to do, since I loved driving and I loved kids. I was fascinated.

Edgar said, in his monotone voice, “Let’s go out to eat. I can tell you all about it.”

I didn’t hesitate: “Yes!” Here was a guy whose job I respected! Never mind that I actually lived with Larry.

By the time the bathroom opened for me to go in, I took Edgar in with me. We made out against the sink for so long, our hips had sink indentations.

Then Edgar took out a container of white powder and started spreading lines on the sink. Why had I been wasting my time kissing this man? He had cocaine!

We did a few lines, kissed a little more, then went out to rejoin the party. Larry was used to me disappearing and suspected nothing – so whenever Edgar nodded at me from across the room, I knew it was time for another trip to the bathroom.

I called my mother the next day. “I have a date with a bus driver!” I told her.

I wanted her to be proud of me, trying to make something of my life. She’d always thought I should be a teacher; I figured dating a bus driver was the next best thing.

She never said a word about me cheating on Larry. In fact, no one did.

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