Am I Too Sensitive to Life’s Pain?
After Dylan’s success with L-Tyrosine as a daily supplement, I got a book called The Mood Cure by Julia Ross. I wanted to double check that Dylan was taking the appropriate dosage – which, happily, he was.
But The Mood Cure wasn’t only about L-Tyrosine.
It starts with a series of quizzes about the way a person might feel during any given day. The quizzes are titled things like “Are You Under a Dark Cloud?” and “Is Stress Your Problem?” The others asked, “Are You Too Sensitive to Life’s Pain?” and “Are You Suffering from the Blahs?”
I took all four quizzes, since I simply love to take quizzes.
I scored pretty high on the Dark Cloud quiz. I’ve always been a bit depressed, so I took the recommended amino acid – for two weeks. The book recommends stopping the amino acid if you have a hard time sleeping – which, after two weeks, I suddenly did. So I stopped. I can take it again if I get depressed again.
But first, I had to confront my real demons.
I scored very, very, very, very, very high on “Are You Too Sensitive to Life’s Pain?” Anyone who knows me will likely laugh out loud at the incredibly OBVIOUS FLASHING NEON LIGHT above my head on this one.
Am I too sensitive to life’s pain? Well, let’s see.
The first time I saw a dead dog on the side of the road, I cried for three days.
When Fonzie got a girlfriend on Happy Days (when I was 12), I became rageful and cried for another three days. I know, because I wrote about it in my diary. (For the record, I watched a movie with Henry Winkler in it last week, playing a happily married man, and I didn’t cry once.)
When a guy I liked – but barely knew – suddenly enlisted in the army and left, I crawled onto the floor of my closet, shut the doors and cried in the darkness for three days.
Actually, most of my life has been spent crying in three-day jigs – or raging at some imagined injustice – so scoring absurdly high on this quiz didn’t surprise me.
But the “essential amino acid” that was recommended tremendously surprised me. I wish I could tell you what it’s called, but I can’t pronounce it or spell it. You will have to read the book.
I took one tiny little tablet at 9 a.m. By 9:30, I felt … I would say I felt… I felt kind of …
NORMAL.
I called Bill at work. I was scared. I’d never felt normal in my entire life. These words came out of my mouth:
“I feel like I’ve had a screw loose for my whole my life, and someone just tightened it.”
I’ve never felt normal before. Ever. I don’t mean “high” on life, or happy or even calm. I mean NORMAL.
I suddenly didn’t feel like killing everyone who cut me off in traffic. I didn’t feel like I had to be doing something at every redlight. I didn’t cry when I remembered that the dog is 7 and she might die in seven more years. I didn’t even feel like I needed a nap or a chocolate bar.
I just felt like, Hey, this is life. It’s not as bad as it usually is.
And, like Dylan with his L-Tyrosine, the effects lasted all day – with no side effects. Interestingly, the amino acid I’m taking assists my body in producing … drum roll, please … L-Tyrosine.
So apparently, I’ve had an amino acid deficiency for my entire life. Too.
I still have emotions. But I don’t feel like crying all the time. I don’t feel absurdly anxious. And I am awestruck by my own ability to function like a human being.
So.
I think I’ll try this “normal” thing for awhile.