Maybe I Am Now That Old.

One day, I was in the driver’s seat, sitting in a parking lot, and I leaned over to get something out of the glove compartment. I still had my seatbelt on and leaned as far as I could to my right, but I could barely reach. I am short.

So I leaned way, waaaaay over, my ribs shoved into the arm rest as I leaned, and suddenly I felt a kind of pop – which was quite painful – right in that rib area.

My first thought was, I think I cracked a rib!

And instantaneously I thought, I can’t be old enough to crack a rib while in a sitting position!

But maybe I am.

Maybe I am now that old. Maybe my bones are so old and brittle that I actually have a broken rib. (I don’t know if it’s actually broken; I do know that healing a rib doesn’t require a doctor’s oversight.)

Maybe I’m so old that my whole body will start to fall apart, and there won’t be anything I can do about it. Maybe my diet and my doctor will help keep me healthy into my later years, but maybe my body will fall apart anyway. Maybe I’ll just be sitting in my car and I’ll break a rib. Maybe I’ll trip over a crack in the sidewalk and break my leg. Maybe I’ll fall down in the kitchen and end up with a broken tailbone. Maybe I’ll twist my wrist the wrong way when I’m typing and break my wrist.

Maybe my bones – which are being supplemented with calcium EVERY day – are just too old to stay solid and do what they’re supposed to do. And maybe my muscles are getting slack from hours on the computer and a non-existent gym membership. Maybe winter’s cold is an excuse for not walking more, or maybe there’s no excuse at all.

Maybe my ailing body will cause me to do less; maybe my healthy-enough body will force me to do more. Which way am I going to go?

I know I’m too old to have any more children and, to be honest, I was awfully old when I was chasing around preschoolers. I remember thinking, “I’m too old for this” on many, many occasions.

And I certainly haven’t taken great care of myself, but I would like to do better in the future.

The question is: will I want to do better enough… to get up and go do better?

I don’t know.

While my ribs are healing, I think I will think about it.

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