He Would Never Be Young Again.
In my research about OCD, I discovered a concerning connection between OCD and hoarding.
I thought about Shane’s bedroom. I thought about the way things pile and pile and pile up, never to be disturbed. I thought about his inability to part with even the smallest of toys, no matter how impractical.
I thought about the multitude of times that I walked into his room and said, “Shane, I just can’t stand it anymore. You’ve got to clean up the floor, at least, so I can walk in without falling on my face.”
I also thought about the photo book.
When Shane was a baby, we created a photo book for him, so he could learn the names of people in his family. We used a pre-made, all-cloth book – something soft, so it would be comfortable for those tiny baby hands. We slid real photos into the slots, showing Shane with various friends and family.
“And who’s this?” we would say, in that high-pitched baby squeal.
“Din,” he would say, meaning “Dylan” – and he would be right, so we would continue to squeal with delight.
Shane was about four when I suggested that we change the photos in the book.
He wailed. Shane was not much of a crier, so this reaction was quite unexpected.
After much questioning, it seemed that Shane was sad because he’d already grown up so much that he couldn’t bear to look at the book anymore – let alone change it.
“I am too old!” he choked, sobbing uncontrollably.
At the tender age of four, he was upset because he would never be young again. And he realized, even at that age, that changing the book in any way would be taking away something that was rightfully his – a baby book filled with his memories, the people he loved.
So he put the book away on his bookshelf, and he never wanted to look at it again.
“I am too sad,” he said, his giant blue eyes welling with tears.
That book is still on his bookshelf. In eleven years, he hasn’t changed his mind. He doesn’t want to look at it – or get rid of it.
And while he has definitely gotten rid of most of his “little kid” books, there are still a number of toys and things in his room that he will never use again, but that he’s not willing to give away.
So the piles keep piling and the room keeps getting worse, and I really didn’t think too much about it – until I read about the connection between hoarding and OCD.
We will have to see if there’s a connection in Shane’s brain – or if he’s able to tackle the hurricane clean-up on his own.