I Just Want a Half Salad.

I think my least favorite of all the food policies in the world is the one I discovered when I went to Potbelly Sandwich Shop.

Upon arrival at the made-to-order sandwich shop, I perused the menu. Since I am trying to eat well, and gluten is a huge factor in causing my ailments, a salad at Potbelly is a good choice for me.

And I was happy to learn that I had the option of having a monstrous, ridiculous salad that I can’t possibly eat, or half a salad: the perfect size.

“I will have the half house salad, please, with…” I began.

“You can’t get a half salad unless you get soup or a sandwich,” said the apathetic employee.

“But I don’t want soup or a sandwich. I just want a half salad.”

“The regular salad isn’t that much bigger,” he said, pointing to a giant plastic bowl that was clearly twice the size of the bowl for half of a salad.

“I have ordered that salad before,” I said. “And I threw half of it away.”

The employee shrugged.

And waited.

People mumbled behind me in line. 

“What are my options again?”

“You can get soup or half a sandwich,” he said. He pointed at the board with all of my soup choices. They all had gluten or dairy overkill. He then pointed to my sandwich choices; there were a hundred.

“Do you have any sandwiches without gluten?” I asked, trying to save time.

“No…. I mean, you could get a sandwich without bread.”

“Well that’s not much of a sandwich, is it?” I was getting pretty frustrated. Soup was a lot less trouble. “Does your tomato soup have gluten?”

“Hey Charlie, does the tomato soup have gluten?” There was a long pause. “Yeah, it does.”

While waiting, I’d seen something that was just meat and mayo. “Chicken salad,” I said finally. “Just give me a scoop of chicken salad on a plate.”

He passed along my order – my salad and a chicken salad sandwich.

“No bread!” I nearly screamed. 

“Oh right,” he said. “Make that sandwich with no bread!”

I love Potbelly salads. They are delicious. But is it really worth it?

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