He Seemed Like Dylan.
I went to visit Dylan this weekend at college. He’s only been there two weeks, but my husband had a work conference near his school, so we both flew out to see him. (Bill had to work, too, poor guy.)
We waited a long time at the curb for Dylan to come out. I’d already forgotten how often Dylan was late. In fact, Shane and I have been on time to school every day since Dylan left – with a good 15 minutes to spare. We barely squeaked into the parking lot before the bell rang last year.
When he finally emerged, Dylan was more radiant than even I remembered. He trotted down the dorm steps, pushing his long hair back from his face, and I momentarily felt like I was watching a slow-motion shampoo commercial.
I leaped from the car, and ran to hug him, squealing Dylan-Dylan-Dylan-Dylan in a high-pitched voice I didn’t even recognize.
I hugged him.
“Hey, Mom,” he said as he hugged back. “What’s up?”
Dylan has always been cool. It’s a tough feat for someone as sensitive and intelligent as Dylan is, but he’s pulling it off.
We went out for dinner, then to lunch and dinner the next day, and we took a wonderful, woodsy walk, far away from the city, for more than an hour.
The only time I really felt like I was with Dylan was during that walk.
The rest of the time he seemed distracted, like he was supposed to be somewhere else but he was with us instead. He wasn’t rude by any stretch, but he was on his phone constantly – just like he was when he was at home – and we were never able to connect in any meaningful conversation.
Except on that walk. On the walk, Dylan was free. He was happy and enjoying the gorgeous summer day. He seemed to be part of the world, part of our world, part of everything. He didn’t seem distant or distracted. He seemed like Dylan.
Dylan’s classes are going well; he likes his teachers. He’s turned in assignments, done his homework early, and knows what he needs to do and when to do it. He’s getting things done, with no help from me.
But Dylan is new to living alone, unsure of what to do with us, as a unit, coming to peer into his new life. Yes, it was too soon to visit campus, to ask about anything social, to care what he was doing with his free time. It’s too early for him to be involved enough in anything to give a solid answer.
Still, it was wonderful to see him, to notice the process, to get the feel of the campus with my son as a real part of that community. And while it’s going to be awhile before “family weekend” happens, I’m already missing him – almost more than I was before – and I’m kinda sorry I visited so soon, if only because it just emphasized the distance between us.