But the Water is Turned Off.
We ordered a new refrigerator. Weeks of research showed that there are no reputable refrigerator brands, so we just picked one and ordered it from Home Depot.
Delivery was scheduled for yesterday. I got a 30-minute warning and removed the food from our old fridge, preparing for the new arrival.
The delivery guy walked in, took one look behind our old refrigerator, and said, “Oh no. You no haf de walf on de wall. De water walf no can be in de basement.”
Our water shut-off valve was in the basement.
I know this because Bill spent 20 minutes showing me where to find it, and how to work it. Bill had turned off the water two days prior.
“The water’s already shut off,” I said.
The delivery guy went into a dissertation on company policies, the dangers of a leaking water line, and how he could not guarantee his installation unless the “walf” was installed in the proper place.
We called Bill. Then the delivery company called Bill. The delivery guy and the company were in agreement: there would be no refrigerator installed unless a plumber came to our home and relocated the water valve to its proper place behind the refrigerator.
But Bill knows things. He is a true DIY kind of guy.
Bill called from work in near-hysterics. “I’m not paying a plumber a thousand dollars just to reroute a valve! Push the fridge out. I’m going to teach you how to disconnect the water line!”
“Okay,” I said, locating the little tube behind the refrigerator.
“Oh no,” said the delivery man. “You get water everywhere if you do that! You end up with de flood all over de kitchen!”
“But the water is turned off,” I told the delivery guy, with Bill still on the phone.
The delivery guy shook his head ominously. “Not to de whole house!”
“I’m coming home to do it myself,” Bill shrieked. “It’s one turn of a bolt!”
The delivery guy shook his head again. “I can no wait. I have eight-to-ten other deliveries to do.”
“Oh my God,” Bill said. “Tell him just to leave the refrigerator in the kitchen and I’ll hook it up myself when I get there.”
“Oh no,” said the delivery guy. “I’ve been here too long. I can’t bring inside the refrigerator. I have to make other deliveries.”
“You can’t even bring it inside?” I wailed. “You’ve been standing here doing nothing for 20 minutes and you’re telling me it’s too late now?”
“I can leave in the garage for you,” he said. “I will come back and move it next Tuesday.”
I looked around at the food on the counter, suddenly enraged.
“But it will only take you five minutes to move it now!” I wailed.
“No,” he said. “It could take longer. I might have to take off de doors to move.”
I screamed some more, to no avail. “Just leave it in the garage,” I said.
Half an hour later, Bill disconnected the water line. It took 40 seconds.
Not one drop of water fell.
We spent the next two hours on the phone trying to get someone to move the refrigerator from the garage to the kitchen. The delivery guy wrote “owners refused to sign paperwork when accepting delivery” on his report. No one asked me to sign anything. And our time on the phone was futile.
At nightfall, Bill drove to our local Home Depot store. Bypassing the delivery company, Home Depot offered to move our new refrigerator into our kitchen. They’ve even promised to connect the water line.
We’ll see.