Maybe I Made the Wrong Decision.
It is snowing. There’s at least a foot of snow on the ground.
It doesn’t snow much where I live, so snow is always a time for celebratory sled riding. It’s also a good time to stay indoors, and cuddle up with a nice book.
Since they were tiny, little boys, I’ve taken the boys out sledding – even on tiny, little hills. The thrill of rushing down that hill in the cold is like no other. Even when they were toddlers, we bundled up for 45 minutes and drove out to the nearest ten-foot drop. It took longer for us to get dressed than it did to ride down that “hill” a dozen times.
As the boys got older, we found the biggest hill in the area: an enormous, whale of a hill that takes almost a full minute to descend. The walk back up is always a chore, but it’s worth it – just to do it again and again.
Last year was the ultimate. The boys were both old enough to tackle the hill completely on their own – and for the first time, I was able to ride down the hill with my dog.
Xena loved sled riding – and I didn’t know it until last year. She loved being in my lap and flying down the hill. She loved running back up the hill. At the age of 10, she was an expert sledder. She sat very still until we came to a stop, even when we slid 300 yards. And when we finally got to the top of the hill afterward, Xena could hardly wait to get back on the sled again.
So the boys went sled riding without me this year.
This year, I couldn’t go. Instead, I wanted to cry all day. I wished I had tried to put her on a sled much sooner, so she could have had that fun with us every year. And this year, I didn’t feel like having any fun without her.
Maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe I should have enjoyed the little time I have left with the kids instead of worrying about the time I don’t have with Xena.
Either way, the snow day came and went, and I am still without my dog.