“I Get to Press Pause on Parenting.”
I was listening to the radio one morning and a disc jockey was talking about his young daughter. She was leaving town to spend a week in Florida with relatives. She is a younger child, and he has been consumed for years by his parental duties.
The question of the day was: “Do you have any ideas what I should do with all my free time, since I get to press pause on parenting?”
“I get to press pause on parenting.”
What interested me about this question is the specific use of the word, “get.”
This was a joyous occasion for this particular dad. He was looking forward to having a week off and doing things without his kid around.
I cannot fathom that mentality. In fact, I rarely go on trips without my children because I miss them so much while I am gone. The last few times I traveled with my husband, I said a thousand times, “The kids would love this.”
Mostly I don’t go, saying instead, “I don’t want to go there without the kids.” So my husband travels for work alone.
While I do realize that many, if not most parents think this way to some degree, my life revolves around my kids. I don’t stare at them while they’re here, and follow them around. I don’t “baby” them or expect that they need me to do everything for them, particularly as teenagers. And I have backed off tremendously from the hovering I did when they were younger.
I have a life outside of my kids, but I would give it up in a heartbeat if it meant that I could spend more time with my kids. I can’t imagine looking forward to being away from them.
I never want to press pause on parenting. I certainly wouldn’t say, “I get to press pause.”
What would that mean?
“I get to press pause” on hearing scurries in the hallway and sudden squeals of delight or horror. “I get to press pause” on waking up to the comfort a home filled with family. “I get to press pause” on listening to stories about school, seeing artwork that isn’t perfect, and finding out what they learned about life today. “I get to press pause” on doing laundry so that the one imperative shirt is clean again for the following day.
Sure, it’s tiring. Parenting is an enormous responsibility. But this morning, while the DJ was wondering what to do with his free time, I woke up wondering if I should foster a child after my own children are gone. I missed Shane’s little face peering at me in bed and whispering, “Mommy?”
I never want to press pause.
That doesn’t mean I have to suffocate them and know what they’re doing at every moment. While I want my kids to be independent and grow into strong adults, I pray that they will stay in touch with me. I want them to come home and visit, to be part of my life, to call me and tell me how things are going, and know they have a soft place to fall as long as I am here.
Parenting is the best job I have ever had. And I want to do it until the day I die, every minute and every hour of my life.