You Really Need to Stop Blaming Everyone Else.
I have been writing this blog for three years, and I have had a lot of supportive comments, mostly from my dear family members who love me. At one point, I thought I might quit writing, because so few people read my blog – but everyone encouraged me to keep going.
One person, in particular, pointed out the blog’s usefulness as a memory saver – and suggested that I continue for my own sake, since it will give me some recollection and perspective later in life.
In fact, it does give me some perspective. It helps me see when I’ve been a good parent, and it helps me see when I’ve not done my best. It reminds me that there is always something to work on, as a parent, and that I can always improve.
I try to keep my blog posts focused on me – even when my kids are driving me crazy. I try to learn from my mistakes, and theirs. I do my best not to attack anyone, other than myself, since I am the only person who can do anything about me.
So when I got the following comment on my “About the Author” page, unrelated to any specific blog post, I was temporarily gutted.
It said:
“You really need to stop blaming everyone else for your incompetences as a parent.
Also, shouldn’t you think more about your child than to air all his dirty laundry online? He’s old enough to be embarrassed and understand what your doing.”
My children both support my blog, and are very careful to tell me when they don’t want something online – so I wasn’t even bothered by that part of the comment. It was the first line that got me:
“You really need to stop blaming everyone else for your incompetences as a parent.”
First, “incompetences” is not a word. But I understood the gist.
I need to stop blaming everyone else…? Who did I blame? I wish she’d put the comment on a specific post, so I would have had some idea.
I frequently admit my incompetencies – and in fact, I work on them daily. I don’t think I blame other people for my faults. I do my best not to blame other people. And every night, I look back on my day and think about what I could have done better.
I often have to get out of my bed, go find Dylan, and apologize. But not for my blog.
I admit, though, that one of my biggest faults is being judgmental – and I have already unfairly judged the person who wrote this comment. I have judged her based on the fact that she said her name was ‘Nancy,’ but her email says her name is ‘Tori.’ I have judged her to be very, very immature, even though I don’t know her age.
And I admit that I get a perverse pleasure in noticing that she doesn’t know how to spell “incompetencies.”
In addition, she has used the wrong form of “you’re” in her last sentence. She said, “… what your doing.”
If I were going to criticize someone so randomly and loudly on their website, I would make sure that I spelled everything right.
But I wouldn’t criticize someone so randomly and loudly on their website. It’s that whole Golden Rule thing.
Lately it seems like God is testing me, to see if I will continue blogging in spite of the nay-sayers around me.
Yes, God. I will.