Brilliant … But Bouncy

I Didn’t Do Anything For Him.

It is not my job to worry about Dylan’s SAT test. The entire time I was worrying, I was thinking how much nicer it would have been if Dylan had spent a little time thinking about his SAT test – instead of me.

A week ago, his voice coach casually mentioned that it was time for Dylan to start taking charge of his own things – choosing his own songs for lessons, practicing on his own time, keeping his own schedule.

“Brilliant!” I exclaimed, waving my arms at Dylan. “That would be wonderful!”

Dylan said, with all the conviction in the world, “I WOULD take charge of my own stuff if only you didn’t do everything FOR me!”

The SAT test was four days later. Dylan hadn’t studied, printed his ticket, or found out where/when the test was taking place. He didn’t even have his two sharpened number-two pencils.

But I didn’t do anything for him. I told him to look at the website, to find out what to expect from the test. I told him to print out his ticket. I told him to prepare his snacks.

Most important, I told him to find out about his extended time. WE – meaning the school and I – had already requested (and been approved for) extended time for Dylan. Because of his IEP, he gets time-and-a-half to complete tests.

The process of requesting extended time can take up to three months. Dylan, of course, did not do this himself.

In addition, he hadn’t completed any of the tasks he was supposed to do – for school or for music. I made a list of all the things he was supposed to have completed, but hadn’t, and I set the list aside. I told him there would be a list if he didn’t do some things himself before the SAT test was over – but I didn’t ask him to do anything.

And sure enough, he didn’t do any of them.

Nine hours before the test, he still hadn’t looked at the website for “what to expect.”

“What do you think you can expect, then?” I asked.

“I’ll wait in line and then go in and take the test,” he said.

While I had prepared weeks in advance, especially to make sure he’d be in the right place to have “extended time,” Dylan didn’t know about the rules, the cell phone ban, the timing, or even if he could chew gum. (He needs gum for testing.)

In fact, Dylan barely got ready to leave the house for the SAT. When it was time to go, he had a banana and coffee (from me). Somehow, he still didn’t have his two sharpened number-two pencils.

So I stood in the kitchen silently. I didn’t gesture, but I looked at the pencils.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STOP DOING THINGS FOR HIM IF HE REALLY DOESN’T DO THEM HIMSELF?!

On the way out the door to take the SAT test, after allowing him to get ready “by himself” (and knowing full well that he would have had no snacks, water or coffee if I hadn’t gotten them ready for him), he was heading to the car with his pile.

“I want to go back to elementary school,” Dylan said.

I laughed. “Me, too,” I told him – meaning, I’d like to go back to my elementary school days, too.

The statement came after Dylan spent almost 15 minutes doing “everything” for himself.