There Was Nowhere To Hide.
Larry owned a ranch-style brick house that looked like every other house in Florida. We rolled onto the lawn – a mix of sand, crabgrass and sandspurs – ignoring the cracked concrete driveway.
Larry and Suzy had lived together at this house for eight years.
Suzy opened the front door – no screen/storm door – and waved. She was in her early thirties, short and cute with a blonde ponytail and a sweet smile.
I hated her instantly. I knew we were at war over my man.
“Suzy, this is Kirsten,” Larry beamed. “Kirsten, Suzy.”
“Nice to meet you,” she said, still smiling.
“Hey,” I mumbled, looking at the ground.
Inside was one room housing a couch, a coffee table with six ashtrays and a magazine, and a dining room table with three chairs. To the left was a doorway into a tiny kitchen; to the right were two bedrooms with closed doors. A fourth dining chair – broken – sat outside a sliding glass door.
There was no need for a tour.
And there was nowhere to hide.
Larry took a quick glance around; everything must have been as he left it.
I walked into the backyard while Larry talked to Suzy. I desperately wanted a beer; it had been months since I’d gone so long without one. My head throbbed. I assumed Larry would tell Suzy to move out and then we’d head to the nearest bar.
But I stood outside alone for a long time. I chain-smoked cigarettes, watching them fizzle listlessly in the dirt.
After forever, Suzy – of all people – opened the door and asked if she could talk to me for a minute. I hated this idea, but I followed her into the kitchen. There was nowhere to sit. Like any self-respecting middle-schooler, I pushed myself up and onto the kitchen counter while Suzy spoke.
Eventually she got to the point: “The main reason Larry and I broke up is that I wanted to have children,” she said. “And I assume you know he’s had a vasectomy.”
“Uh-huh,” I growled. I wasn’t about to discuss my sex life with her.
“So today I went to the doctor….” She looked around the kitchen, then back up at me. “And I found out ….”
I took another drag on my cigarette and waited.
Suddenly Suzy choked up, trying desperately hard not to cry. “Today I found out that I can’t have kids,” she said quickly. “I can never have kids.” She exhaled and looked at me expectantly.
I wish I’d said to Suzy: I am so, so sorry; that has to be horrible. I had no idea that’s why you broke up, and I can’t imagine your pain. I don’t even like Larry all that much; you can have him back. Maybe you two could adopt! He obviously still loves you; just give me a few weeks to find somewhere else to live and he’s yours.
Instead I glared at her. “Okay.” I drawled. “What the fuck do you want me to do about it?”
“Nothing,” she said, visibly shaken, a single tear escaping. “I just … I guess I thought you would….” She trailed off. “I thought you should know.”
I dropped myself down from the counter, my boots slamming onto the tile. “Now I know,” I snarled. “Anything else you want to fuckin’ tell me?”
Still looking at me for some semblance of humanity, Suzy shook her head quickly, then glanced at the floor.
I pushed past her to get to Larry in the other room. I said, “Can we go get a fuckin’ beer now?”
“Sure, Baby,” he said, obviously unaware that I’d become a psychopath.