Drunks Should Not Play Sports.
I played tennis and softball in high school, partially a requirement by my parents to “do something.” I was expected to do something in college as well, and I considered playing softball. But all the scary powder puff football girls played softball, so I only played tennis in college.
Even this was a mistake. Drunks should not play sports.
When I started playing, I felt pretty good about it. I made the college tennis team! I would go to practice, stretch and run sprints. Tennis is not really a “team” sport, and I didn’t become friends with the other tennis players, but I felt like I was part of something anyway.
We went to matches on a bus and I sat alone, laughing at the comments made around me but not really knowing how to participate in the conversation. Everyone seemed older than me. I wasn’t a fan of the uniforms (skirts – yuk) and I wasn’t wild about “conditioning,” but I enjoyed playing, when we actually played.
My freshman year was all about getting used to playing at a higher level than in high school. We had a lot of good players and my game hadn’t changed that much since high school, so I don’t remember playing a single match. I probably did – but I was accustomed to sitting on a bench anyway.
When tennis season ended, I was thrilled. That meant I could drink with wild abandon again.
By sophomore year, I was drinking substantially more – and tennis practices were held on Saturday mornings. My Friday night partying interfered greatly with my ability to perform on the courts. And sprints after drinking two dozen beers? That was a non-starter.
I definitely survived one practice. I may have survived two. Then I quit the team, and quit playing tennis for the rest of my college career, and well into adulthood. By the time I started playing again, I was past 40.
Looking back on my youth, I never felt like I was part of the team. I didn’t get to know my teammates. I didn’t talk to them. I didn’t have any fun. It wasn’t until I was in my forties, and laughing at the net with my mom and her friends, that I discovered there was joy in socializing during sports.
Now I have actual fun – with tennis (although I rarely play) and with pickleball (which is way easier to play – and to socialize). And softball – which was useless to me in high school – is an absolute blast now that I speak to the humans on my team and don’t just stand in the outfield watching butterflies.
Well, sometimes I am still distracted by the butterflies.
I have some softball friends who talk about their weekend games, where they crack a beer after every home run. To me, that makes no sense. It’s like drinking at Disney World. Why? It’s a waste of alcohol. More importantly, it’s a waste of Disney World.
But in college, I was glad to do away with softball, and tennis, and swimming (which I previously loved) and anything else that required movement.
To be honest, I’m not a fan of movement now – until I get up and get going. Then I love it. Sober, I can do anything I want.