I Didn’t Realize That.
Shane’s visit to Susquehanna University was unlike any we’d ever had.
Dylan and I had visited Susquehanna twice, and it is a beautiful campus. I remember the visit with Dylan well because all of the professors lined up on stage for a panel discussion; they all had matching water bottles on the floor (with Susquehanna logos) and crossed their legs in exactly the same fashion. Dylan thought this was hysterical, and I had to agree.
But Shane is an entirely different person and he, too, thought the campus was beautiful. So Shane applied last summer and was offered an enormous financial aid package so quickly that we decided to return for their Fall Open House.
Shane ditched Susquehanna during the campus tour. Along the way, not one but two students whispered in his ear: “Don’t go here! Don’t go here!” In all of our campus tours, nothing like that ever happened anywhere else. Their own students were warning prospectives? Shane took it as a sign that he should not go to Susquehanna.
It wasn’t until the student panel that my mind was changed. (After all, no one whispered in my ear.) It was an aesthetic group of kids: a studious redheaded female; a blond athletic female; a brown-haired athletic male; an overweight Black male who was involved in countless clubs and editor of the school newspaper.
Since Susquehanna is predominately (95%) White – as was evidenced by the Open House crowd – I found it interesting that the student panel was moderated by a Black female. She asked her questions of the students and then seemingly went into a daze, staring into space as the students answered. I found her behavior compelling, so I watched her, too.
One question was about freshman year dorms. The redhead mentioned her freshman dorm, and said that she’d gotten to know the blond girl from that dorm, that they were still friends. The blond girl agreed that their freshman year dorm was great, and that her closest friends were from that freshman dorm.
Since the dorm is apparently co-ed, the brown-haired athlete said that he, too, had lived with the two female student panelists during his freshman year in the very same dorm. They still did things together, he said, and he too had other close friends from the same dorm.
The Black male was quiet for a moment when it was his turn to answer the question. Then he brightened quickly and said, “Well! I guess we were all in the same dorm at the same time. I didn’t realize that.” Then he said that he liked the dorm, too; the beds were comfortable. He said nothing about friends.
My jaw dropped to the floor. I couldn’t see or hear anything; I couldn’t focus on words anymore.
Without actually saying it, the Black student had – very unobtrusively – told the entire audience that he’d been completely ostracized by the White students. Was it his race? His size? It surely wasn’t his personality; he was the funniest and brightest light on that panel.
But I could see the pain in his eyes before he made his announcement. I saw the Black staff member come to life a little. And for the first time in any college panel, I saw clearly that Susquehanna University was far too conservative and very likely racist for my family to condone it.
We sat through the day, but Susquehanna plummeted to the bottom of Shane’s list – and stayed there until Spring, when he finally told them that no amount of money could convince him to attend.
It’s the least we could do.