I Was Free!
It’s been a few weeks since my trip, so I feel confident talking about this now. When I went to Tennessee to visit Dylan, I spent three days not wearing a mask.
In early February, Omicron was raging, so this was an incredibly dangerous thing for me to do. It wasn’t dangerous in the I-might-get-COVID-and-die way; I have survived it once already and I am hopeful that I would survive the milder Omicron if I got it. It was dangerous because I was supposed to hop on a plane to California with Shane as soon as I got home. I didn’t want to get sick in Tennessee and miss taking Shane to California.
My first stop in Nashville was at a concert venue where my beloved son would be playing music. When I first arrived, I wore my mask everywhere. I ducked into the venue and pushed quickly through all of the people indoors – none of whom were masked – and shoved straight through to the back patio where the bands were playing outdoors.
I didn’t see a single mask in the crowd. They were young and believed they were invincible, I reasoned. Their brains don’t even fully develop until the age of 25.
It felt like there was a sniper lurking and I was the only one who knew about it. I covered my face and stood in the back of the room away from the tiny mosh pit. I hid from people as much as possible, even though I was outside.
Then I found Dylan, and stood near him. Like everyone else, he was not wearing a mask. We were at the sound board together, so I felt safely away from the crowd. I took off my mask and drank my ice water and tried not to worry.
When it came time to get another glass of water, I was troubled. No one inside was wearing a mask; no one outside was wearing a mask. If I put on my mask to go inside, like I did at home, I would look even more out of place than I did by being old.
So I held my breath and just … walked inside. I went through the people quickly, stood away from the other customers at the bar, and asked for my drink.
That’s when I realized: the bartender could hear me.
I am quiet and it’s been challenging for people to hear me through my mask for the past two years. But in Tennessee, everyone was able to hear me – even above the din of the bands and the drunken customers.
Suddenly I felt energized. I got my water and I felt like I was 22. I was walking around in a bar without protection! I was wild! I was free! I was invincible!
This went on for three days.
I took my mask everywhere – in my pocket. Dylan and I went to restaurants and a museum and a car wash and a grocery store and another store and … we went wherever we wanted, and nobody anywhere was wearing a mask. For those days, I worried a little: Does the waitress have COVID? Do the other shoppers have COVID? I scurried a bit, trying to stay six feet away.
But most of the time, I felt like I was flying. It was like diving off the top of a building. Of course, I had no idea if I was going to crash land in the street below. But I dove and dove and dove … and did not crash.
I am looking forward to feeling that again.