They Are Always All Gone.

Now that I am free from isolation, I am “immune” – at least temporarily – from COVID-19.

Unfortunately, I got COVID the night before I got my vaccine. If I’d gotten symptoms just one day later, I would be vaccinated now. (And my parents would be deathly ill.)

Fortunately, I followed the rules.

Please note: If you have been diagnosed with COVID-19 in the 10 days before your appointment or have an active COVID-19 infection at the time of your appointment, you will not be eligible for vaccination.

So I had one shot – and I had to give it away to no one in particular.

A week later, a friend of mine drove with her husband – who was eligible – to get his vaccine. They drove almost two hours to a pharmacy that had one available slot. She sat outside in the car while he went inside to get vaccinated. He asked if there were any extra doses for his wife, and they told him to bring her inside. They both got vaccinated.

But when I took my sister-in-law – who was eligible – to get her vaccine, I waited an hour in line. I politely asked staff if there was any way to get my vaccine. They all said, “You need to make an appointment.” So I watched as dozens of people got a vaccine in the room where I stood. And then I walked out without one.

I am not – thank God – eligible because I am disabled. But I am eligible because I am a teacher. And I won’t teach until I get vaccinated.

I know, deep in my gut, that there is some reason that I am still not vaccinated. How clear did God need to be? I got a fever. I couldn’t go. I wasn’t about to risk my own parents’ health, let alone the health of the other people in that room, knowing that I could be contagious.

I didn’t even know it was COVID at the time – but I knew I was doing the right thing to stay home. Why does doing the right thing then feel like I’ve given up my only chance at ever getting a vaccine now?

I have filled out every request form in every county in the state. I am willing to travel for hours. The only chance I got was when I got the vaccine appointment I didn’t take.

Day after day after day, ten times a day, I check the websites: Giant, Safeway, Rite Aid, Walgreens, Walmart. I check something called Albertsons, but I don’t even know an Albertsons. I search the hospital sites: Adventist, Holy Cross, Luminis, MedStar. I check all the county health sites.

My Congressman assures me that, someday soon, we will all have a chance to get a vaccine. The emails say to “be patient” – but what does that mean? I am just sitting here, checking websites. Should I stop checking?

Twice, while I was asleep, I got a notification that the “big” state vaccination site – Six Flags America – was opening a “limited number of appointments.” By the time I read the notification, they were all gone.

They are always all gone.

Sometimes those notifications come in late at night. Should I not sleep?

I am not calling anyone, since every site says “don’t call.” I am not driving to places without an appointment because all the websites say “no walk-ins.”

And I did not get a vaccine when I had an appointment because I was sick, because the website said not to get a vaccine when you are sick.

Thank God for 90 days of immunity.

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