She Totally Stopped Talking to Me.

This morning on the drive to school, after months of looking forward to it, Dylan said he didn’t want to go to his youth group at church.

“It’s boring and I don’t have any friends there,” he said.

“Oh,” I said. “It’s boring. This doesn’t have anything to do with your getting a new girlfriend and not having one at church anymore?”

“No,” he said, “but the girl from church totally stopped talking to me and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore.” Then he got out of the car and slammed the door without even saying “bye.”

Hm, I thought. The term ‘totally stopped talking to me’ sounds familiar. Dylan has used that term at least ten times in the past few months. His best friend and girlfriend “just totally stopped talking to me” back in February. Since then, he has said the same thing about at least five of his “friends.”

I have no idea if this is normal behavior. Since Dylan is my first child, I don’t know if kids just randomly stop talking to other kids for no reason – or if my son is doing something really terrifying to scare them away – or if it’s something in between.

I remember middle school as being an agonizing ball of confusion. I liked a lot of the other kids, but I sincerely believed that most of them didn’t like me.

This is a glorious trait that I carry with me to this day. I’ll be talking with a friend, and will suddenly believe that I’m boring them – and therefore end the conversation abruptly and head for the hills.

With my closest friends, I can say, “Am I boring you?” and some will even say, “yes” without offending me. But for many, I suppose my running away doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Dylan, on the other hand, is likely to miss the cues if he’s bothering someone. But he’s not a terribly bothersome person – unless someone who constantly bounces and sings is “bothersome.”

So I have no idea what’s going on. Obviously, I need social help of my own. I did not succeed socially in middle school – not in any way. So I don’t know if Dylan is doing something to irritate all of these people, or if middle schoolers just bop around changing friends like they change clothes.

I’m open for advice on this one. I just don’t know what’s normal.

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