They’re Just Not Right.

We’ve recently learned that the caramel color found in most maple syrup is a carcinogen. So we’ve moved on to natural maple syrup.

With its natural sugars, it’s more like a fruit than a candy. Shane doesn’t love the syrup, but he eats it. Dylan, however, says the new syrup tastes like vomit and he’d rather have nothing on his pancakes.

“Fine with me,” I said.

“Isn’t there anything except this syrup that I can put on my pancakes?” he moaned.

“No,” I said. Then I went to the grocery store and discovered a natural strawberry syrup. Dylan loves strawberries, so I bought it.

“Ew!” he wailed. “It’s terrible!”

So we went back to nothing on his pancakes. And this morning, we were having leftover chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. I made a pile of three pancakes and sliced a banana on each one for added sweetness. It looked like a TV commercial for IHOP.

Dylan came downstairs for breakfast.

“I don’t want bananas on my pancakes,” he said.

“Dylan,” I said, “I worked very hard to make a nice breakfast for you. The only thing you can say right now is ‘thanks, Mom!’ Everything else is inappropriate.”

“But I just really didn’t want …”

“I don’t care if you didn’t want bananas. I was trying to do something nice for you and if you don’t like it, keep it to yourself.”

I left the room and came back a few minutes later.

Dylan was shoveling pancakes with bananas into his face. “This really isn’t bad,” he said with his mouth full, “except for the chocolate chips.”

“What?!” I said. “You’re complaining about the chocolate chips?”

“Well they’re all hard or something,” he said. “They’re just not right.”

I paused, only briefly, before continuing to argue with him about how to respond to the morning’s breakfast.

That pause was the moment that I realized: No matter what I say, no matter what I do, he’s going to be rude, and dislike anything I do for him. And nothing is going to be good enough.

But I can’t stop trying.

I truly wish I could stop trying. Life would be so much more pleasant if I just didn’t care about his well-being. But I can’t.

So next time, I’ll make sure the pancakes don’t have chocolate chips in them. I’ll add fruit, probably. Maybe I’ll add strawberries instead of bananas – a risky move, I know.

And I’ll hope against all rational thought, that he’ll sit down to eat and say, “Thanks, Mom. This is delicious!”

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