He is One of God’s Angels.
Dylan has let it slip that there are kids in his school who are … well, bullying him. He doesn’t call it “bullying” because that’s become such a trendy term. To Dylan, bullying implies something much worse than what’s happened to him.
A guy – we’ll call him “Dave” – punched Dylan in the stomach as he was walking down the hall. He’s been tripped, slapped and smacked.
“It’s just random,” he says. “It doesn’t really matter.”
Another day, “Dave” tried to slam Dylan’s head into his locker – something that Dylan had seen happen before.
“But I pulled the top pin out of my locker door,” said Dylan – the future engineer. “So the locker bounced back and hit him in the face.”
I’m so proud of my boy for standing up for himself – even if it just meant not having his head slammed into his locker.
I never stood up for myself. I was an incredibly shy wallflower who almost never spoke. I guess I was an easy target. So I quickly became a victim of my own personal bully.
Mindy started in fourth grade by sending me a Valentine that was signed with – instead of ‘Love, Mindy‘ – ‘Hate, Mindy.’ To this day, I have no idea what inspired her to hate me so.
She didn’t let up for three years. I got nasty notes. She threatened me constantly. She’d slap my notebook out of my hands, throw books at me in the hall, and sneer “QUEER-stin” anytime she got within range. Then she would do something really odd, like treat me with incredible kindness. And I’d think, Oh, she likes me now!
One day, after being nice for a few hours, she borrowed 15 cents from me so she could buy ice cream. I can’t even imagine why I had 15 cents – but I gave it to her, in hopes that we were actually becoming friends. I actually believed it when she said she’d pay me back.
I was a naive child.
Eventually, Mindy beat me to a pulp after school. I walked out the door and she jumped on me. She’d hired someone to hold my arms behind my back – someone I’d really thought was a friend – while Mindy punched and pummeled me until I couldn’t even stand up anymore.
I don’t remember any bullying after that. I believe that’s when I shut down, and stopped trusting people for the rest of my life.
Mindy has had the chance to apologize to me, since we are both on Facebook. Oddly, she hasn’t come forward. I sent her a note that said, quite simply, “Do you remember me?”
I never got a response.
I can see from her Facebook pictures that she has two tween/teen girls. And I can’t help but wonder if they are victims or bullies themselves.
But they’ve probably been trained to crush anyone who crosses their path. Because God knows, I simply breathed the same air as Mindy, and I was mercilessly abused for it.
I try not to compare my son’s experiences to my own – but given my own experiences, it is incredibly hard not to compare.
I only hope he never gets to the point of shutting down, like I did. I hope he stays true to himself, and knows that he is good, and true, and beautiful – inside and out – and that no one has a right to hurt him.
He is one of God’s angels. I see it clearly and know it with every fiber of my being. Dylan is perfect as he is, and he’s here for a reason.
Maybe someday, I’ll realize that I am one of God’s angels, too.