Nobody Needs Me.
With the kids at camp, I roll out of bed every morning whenever I want. I stay up as late as I want, too. I don’t have to get up and feed them, or take them somewhere, or go anywhere with them.
So I eat whatever I want, wherever and whenever I want. I go wherever I want, whenever I want. I could have gone on a three-day cruise, and the kids wouldn’t even have noticed.
But I did not go on a three-day cruise. In fact, if I were to go on a cruise, I would want to take the kids with me. They would love that. I would love that.
Instead, I am rolling around in my bed till 10 a.m., with absolutely no reason to get up. I don’t see any reason in the world to get out of that bed. There is nowhere to go, nothing to do, and nobody needs me.
Luckily, I have a dog, or I might have been in that bed all week.
I get up and let the dog outside, feed her, watch her go back to her position next to me on the floor. She sleeps all day.
Now I see why.
No one depends on the dog. If anyone says, “Let’s go!” she leaps to her feet and gets in the car first. But if no one says “let’s go,” she just sleeps.
I’ve discovered that I can’t stay in bed for more than ten hours without getting a headache. And I don’t enjoy all that sleeping. I just don’t have anything better to do.
This is one week out of my life. It feels like a life utterly wasted, but with softball season over and my husband back at work and my job taking place during the school year, I have absolutely no reason to be.
This does not bode well for when the kids move out. In fact, I sense impending doom.