Where Did I Put It?
While Dylan is excelling at ADHD behavior without the benefit of medication that works, Shane is blossoming into someone who is completely incapable of recognizing the fact that he has put something down.
Shane has always been easy because he rarely forgot where he put things. He followed the letter of the law, so he always knew what he was doing, where he was doing it, how he was going to finish it, when (especially WHEN) he was going to do it, and what he was going to do after that – and how, etc.
Lately, though, he is losing, destroying and forgetting everything. More than once in the past week, I’ve honestly wondered if ADHD is contagious, or if maybe Shane just wants some attention for the same attention-grabbing things Dylan does.
Shane has a folder that he brings home from school every day. He’s been bringing home this folder since he was in kindergarten, forgetting it maybe three times in four years. In the past few weeks, though, he’s forgotten the folder three times – each time, completely befuddled as to how that could have happened.
His glasses went missing one day last week. He took them off while on the trampoline – which, coincidentally, was completely covered in leaves. He went out into the cold with a flashlight, praying earnestly the entire time, and actually located his $400 glasses IN THE LEAF PILE.
Things seem to just fall out of his hand, as if he were never actually holding them. I’ve watched him pick up a toy, play with it, then plop it down in the middle of the room and scurry off to get another toy. Mere minutes later, there are 600 toys on the floor, and he’s not playing with any of them – but he’s used them all. He never, ever puts anything away.
This weekend, we went through his stuff, so as to rearrange some furniture in his bedroom. He was stunned to find that he had as many recyclable papers (TRASH) as he did treasures, which he wants to keep forever and ever. These treasures were in a crumpled heap in his “treasures” area, and he was also stunned to find four full books that he wrote and hadn’t been able to find anywhere.
I have no idea what to do about this problem. When I put something down, I pay attention to what it is, and where I’m putting it. Shane doesn’t even know he has it in his hands, and then it’s gone. There’s no organization at all.
I remember reading once, long ago, that organization is a skill that needs to be taught. I also remember buying a book about organization for my beloved husband, who has the same amount of organizational ability as a baboon. He never found time to read it. And I never found time to teach him what needs to be taught – not that it should be my job, of course.
Shane, however, is still – possibly – trainable. If only I had a clue how to go about training him. Perhaps I need to read a book on the subject – quickly, before he loses everything he owns.