Without It, He’s Not Allowed to Sing.

Dylan has been asking since the age of 9 to sing on American Idol or The VoiceHe’s finally 15, which is old enough to audition – and American Idol is over, so we set him up with an audition for The Voice.

I suggested that he scan some YouTube videos from people who have already auditioned, so that he knew what to expect. I also suggested that he scour the fine print and see exactly what was needed to proceed.

I suggested this in November, when I made the appointment to audition. Dylan auditions this weekend – so he finally got around to doing all of it on Tuesday.

He has been practicing two songs for three months – and he learned that he should probably be more contemporary with his choices. He’s also been practicing two songs from two different genres, but he learned that he’s supposed to stick with only one genre.

So researching in November may have been a good idea.

Dylan also finally got around to doing the paperwork – which I printed out for him, since he was constitutionally incapable of doing it himself. The paperwork must be signed and handed in at his audition.

Without it, he’s not allowed to sing.

Basically, the paperwork consists of two pages of legal mumbo jumbo – and two additional pages for parental consent – that state, in no uncertain terms:

You (auditioner) need to devote every waking moment to us, and you have to do whatever we say the entire time. You have no rights whatsoever to change anything that is said or done, even if we make you look like a buffoon. You also can’t talk about what we do behind the scenes – to anyone, ever. And by signing this agreement, you agree to sign more documents later, all of which will be binding everywhere and until the end of time.

Dylan read this legalese and started rethinking his decision to audition.

I read the legalese and thought, yep. This is how it’s going to be.

Television is very little glamor, and a whole lot of money-making tomfoolery. And reality television is the worst of the worst.

We signed the document.

Then we all silently hoped Dylan would not be chosen to participate in The Voice.

 

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