The Orchid Went Hog Wild.

We repotted our beloved orchid.

I say “beloved” because, quite literally, we love this plant.

Bill loves it because he just loves orchids. I am not a plant fan. In fact, I could never have another plant again as long as I live, and I would be perfectly content.

But this particular plant has sentimental value. When Bill and I first started dating – years and years and years ago – Bill bought this orchid for me. I remember him skipping around the corner with the pot under his arm, and this long, skinny stick with a flower on it nearly hitting him in the head.

Bill was very cute, carrying that plant.

So I kept the orchid, in my dark basement apartment. It survived. Eventually, I moved to a lighter basement apartment. Then Bill and I got married and moved into a tiny house, where the orchid really started to bloom.

I mean, it really started to bloom. As we got married and started having babies, the orchid went hog wild. Our cat died, and we got a fish, and the orchid bloomed and bloomed. We got a dog and the larger our family got, the larger that orchid got. We got three more fish, then five hermit crabs. And every few months, Bill would say, “I think that orchid is spiking again.”

If I straightened out the longest (current) spike, it would be almost four feet tall. It blooms constantly. The orchid is so big now, the repotting was more for our sanity than for the orchid’s health.

But when we repotted it, the orchid mix we used apparently had some gnat eggs in it.

So gnats started showing up in our house. In fact, so many gnats started showing up, we had to buy glue cards so that the new gnat population in our home would dissipate or, preferably, disappear altogether.

Did you know that a female gnat can lay 100 to 300 eggs? One gnat. We repotted this thing before Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day has come and gone. And we still have gnats. The cards are catching hundreds, and we still have gnats.

You can’t kill a gnat very easily, either, because you really can’t see them until they land in your food, or fly right past your eyes. One. At. A. Time. All. Day. Long.

So, since the orchid has – for me, anyway – symbolized my marriage, I am taking this as a sign. The gnats are, quite simply, a bothersome thing that has happened, while we were caring for our orchid – er, relationship.

And there are many bothersome things that happen, every day, in our relationship. I don’t live well with other people. I am very much a loner; Bill is very affectionate. I am bothered by nearly everything he does. I still love him, of course, but I wish he would do more things the way I want him to do them.

Some things are bothersome, but swatting at them does no good. I have to wait patiently until they fly away on their own.

Which, I believe, they will never, ever do.

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