Dylan Has a Lot of Potential to Be a Great Student.

I got Dylan’s report card a bit late.

Actually, I didn’t get Dylan’s report card at all. While searching for something else on his desk, I discovered it – awaiting a parental signature – buried in a stack of papers. I didn’t think the new school gave out report cards, since we had everything available online – and since no one had ever tracked me down to get my signature on it.

Dylan’s private school has trimesters, rather than quarters. His first trimester report card appeared two days before the second trimester was over.

Each class offers a personal perspective on Dylan’s behavior in class. When the first trimester ended, these comments stood out:

“When able to focus and listen, Dylan grasps the concepts….”

“His grades suffered mainly due to not completing or turning in his work….”

“Dylan has a lot of potential to be a great student. However, he is very figety and distracted….”

“Dylan should listen carefully for quiz warnings, and use homework answers to help him review….”

“Less socializing in class would benefit classroom completion rate….”

In spite of this, Dylan did great: three A’s, four B’s, and a C. But we went an entire trimester without hearing these comments, and I can’t help but wonder if we had heard them earlier, would we have been able to do something differently – anything – to improve the next report card.

My gut tells me, No. You have done everything you can possibly do. And so, I am done “doing” stuff to change what is, inevitably, the way it is going to be.

Dylan is going to listen in class, or he’s not. He’s going to distract himself and the teachers, or he’s not. He’s going to get good grades, or he’s not. He’s going to turn in his work, or he’s not.

And if he doesn’t listen, distracts himself and the teachers, gets terrible grades and doesn’t turn in his work (which go hand-in-hand), then there is nothing I can do about it.

And if he listens in class, doesn’t distract anyboy, gets great grades and turns in all his work on time, this will be something for which *I* can take NO credit.

His life. His choices. His consequences.

I can guide him in the right direction, but ultimately, I am learning, his success or failure has absolutely nothing to do with me.

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