It Didn’t Seem Like a Good Fit.

After declaring two days ago that I would be registering for a 10-week series of church workshops, I had some issues.

First, I don’t like social events of any sort. I am an introvert by birth, and have developed a strong fear of people thanks to – I believe – a horrific experience in middle school. So I wasn’t looking forward to going to any of these church meetings.

In addition, my husband – who is incredibly social and makes a great buffer at social gatherings – was going to miss at least two of the ten meetings. He did not need to be there, as the workshops were really for me. My husband has a very passive-aggressive demeanor, which means no one thinks he is controlling except me. And there is no doubt that I am too controlling. So everyone overlooks his issues.

And Shane has a church group on Wednesday evenings, which means that he would be at the church for more than an hour before my group even starts. And while there is free childcare, I had envisioned the group as a “family activity” – and I couldn’t see how Shane could take part. He is not in the least anxious, manipulative or controlling.

Yet, he would have to sit there for another two hours, waiting for me – either in the group, or in childcare. It didn’t seem like a good fit.

Then the Wednesday night school meetings started popping up. Everyone is suddenly getting ready for next year! Incoming 9th graders (Dylan) and their parents are going to be incredibly busy in the next few weeks. In addition to our high school “welcome” meeting, I will also be attending the informational meeting about the International Baccalaureate program at the high school.

Both meetings are on Wednesdays.

But I went to the church website anyway, because I felt compelled to do something – even if nothing was lining up the way I thought it should. There I discovered a video to “tell me more” about the meetings. And watching the video taught me something extraordinarily helpful: The meetings are based on a book.

The book is called, Keep Your Love On, which – in my not-so-humble opinion – is not the best title for the book if it means an end to anxiety, manipulation and control. But I suppose “love” is a fair antonym, so maybe it’s the perfect title. I don’t actually know.

Buying the book and the study guide online costs the same amount as the 10-week workshop series.

That was the final straw. I bought the book instead of registering for the course.

I figure that I would get one, maybe two tidbits for lifelong happiness from the workshops. And as a rule, I get one, maybe two tidbits from every self-help book I read.

This way, I can get the same information – which, I believe, is the stuff God wanted me to know – without the angst of socializing, missing school meetings and rearranging the family schedule.

I can – and will – read the book on my own time, and promise to share any wisdom I glean. Meanwhile, I thought I’d best come clean and admit that I am not going to register for the 10-week series, since I was so adamant only two days ago that I would.

I try hard to be honest.

Sometimes, though, I just change my mind about stuff.


  1. Kirsten says:

    Oh yes, I think about it all the time! But I can only tackle one form of anxiety at a time. 🙂 Thanks for the support!

  2. Lorrie says:

    Did you ever think that just being part of a group might be good for your social anxiety issues? Just sayin!

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